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Mar. 11, 2026

Policy and Politics | BY

Trump Says Iran War Nearly Finished, Washington Immediately Forms 12 New Committees

Mar. 11, 2026

Policy and Politics | BY

Pentagon Confirms Iran War Nearly Over, CNN Announces Five-Year Panel Discussion

Mar. 06, 2026

Policy and Politics | BY

White House Launches New Task Force To Determine Why Eggs Exist

Feb. 19, 2026

Policy and Politics | BY

Prediction Markets Now “Freedom Futures” as Trump Admin Battles State Lawsuits Over Betting on Everything

Feb. 18, 2026

Policy and Politics | BY

Senate Unveils 4,200-Page ‘Emergency’ Bill No One Has Read

Feb. 11, 2026

Policy and Politics | BY

White House Announces New Ministry of Misinformation to Clarify What You Meant to Say

Feb. 11, 2026

Policy and Politics | BY

Congress Holds Emergency Hearing After Government Accidentally Balances Budget for 11 Minutes

Policy and Politics | BY

GOP Debates Hiring Meteorologist for Midterms After Trump’s Strategy “Unclear but Stormy”

Policy and Politics | BY

GOP Chiefs Reportedly Considering Crystal Ball Over Trump Midterm Strategy

Jan. 29, 2026

Policy and Politics | BY

President Announces “Board of Peace,” World Leaders Wonder If There’s A Spot For Philosophers Too

Mar. 17, 2026

Economy | BY

Media Declares Economy Strong After Discovering Americans Still Breathing

Economy | BY

Toyota Chairman Turns MAGA Cheerleader Amid $912M U.S. Investment

Economy | BY

Treasury Predicts “Blockbuster” 2026 Economy as Americans Told to Brace for Joy

Economy | BY Editor-in-Chief

Trump Hails “Major Tariff Cut” To 10% After Learning 45 Is Technically Lower Than 47

Oct. 28, 2025

Economy | BY Editor-in-Chief

Bill Gates Reverses Course, Now Says Planet Probably Won’t Explode Before His Next Investment Cycle

Economy | BY Editor-in-Chief

Trump Warns 42 Million Americans Could Lose Food Stamps If Democrats Don’t Approve Funding For Their Own Voters

Oct. 27, 2025

Economy | BY Editor-in-Chief

Argentina Declares Independence From Socialism, Starts Shocking New Trend Of Doing Math

Economy | BY Editor-in-Chief

Fed Cuts Interest Rates To Stop Slowdown It Caused By Raising Rates To Stop Inflation It Caused By Cutting Rates

Economy | BY Editor-in-Chief

Walmart Finally Chooses Americans Over Imported Tech Gurus—Liberals Declare It A Hate Crime

Oct. 21, 2025

Economy | BY Editor-in-Chief

Trump Warns: Without Tariffs, America Will Be Forced To Buy Its Own Products From China Again

Jan. 26, 2026

Life | BY

Nation Holds First Annual Freeze-Your-Rights Celebration After Minnesota Becomes Winter Protest Theme Park

Jan. 08, 2026

Life | BY

Experts Say Americans Must Lower Expectations To Fight Climate Change

Life | BY

$6.25 Billion ‘Trump Christmas Gift’: 25 Million Kids Get $250 — Because Math Is Patriotic

Life | BY

Hypocrisy Holiday: Woke Left Declares “Thanksgiving Mourning,” America Wonders If Turkey Was Offended

Nov. 25, 2025

Life | BY

Soup & Scandal: Executives Mock ‘Poor People’ While Serving Them Dinner

Life | BY Chief Editor

Nvidia CEO Begs Trump To Let Him Sell Chips To China Like It’s A Communist Costco

May. 30, 2025

Life | BY Editor-in-Chief

“Biology Is Bigotry,” Michelle Obama Explains to Applauding Houseplants

May. 26, 2025

Life | BY

Harvard Hit With Reality: Trade Schools Now America’s Ivy League

Life | BY Editor-in-Chief

Disgraced Ex-Rep Sends Trump Pardon Request Folded Into Origami Eagle

May. 08, 2025

Life | BY Editor-in-Chief

Gates Foundation to Receive $200 Billion, Gates Children to Receive Resume Templates

Opinion | BY

Headline: Democrats Unveil Bold Plan To Fix Border By Redefining “Border”

Mar. 11, 2026

Opinion | BY

Harvard Shocked To Learn Admissions May Require Actual Fairness

Mar. 12, 2026

Opinion | BY

New Iran Supreme Leader Reportedly Injured After First Day On Job

Opinion | BY

Supreme Court Votes 9-0, Nation’s Twitter Lawyers Immediately Declare Decision “Unconstitutional Anyway”

Mar. 03, 2026

Opinion | BY

Epic Fury Goes Epic-er: Pentagon Declares ‘Operation Eternal Back-Pat’ After 72 Hours

Feb. 16, 2026

Opinion | BY

Trump Promises To Deport Government Waste, Bureaucrats Begin Self-Reporting

Opinion | BY

At Munich Security Conference, U.S. Leaders Debate Whether World Order Is a Tango or a Tap Dance

Opinion | BY

Trump Promises to “Politically Smite” GOP Traitors Who Dared Oppose His Tariff Takeover — GOP Offers “Loot Boxes” Instead

Opinion | BY

Trump DOJ Quietly Files Motion to “Dismiss With Justice™” Bannon Case, Jury Still Shocked It Happened Less Than a Month Ago

Opinion | BY

Kid Rock to Host Super Bowl Counter-Halftime Show — Because Who Needs Cultural Relevance Anyway?

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Latest Videos:

Davos: Climate activists block private jet airport

Biden's Document Debacle!

Making sense of the investigations being launched in Washington

Talk show host speaks truth to woke celebrities

Liberal student can't handle reality of gender binary

FLASHBACK: Joe Rogan talks about Libs of Tik Tok

Arizona builds their own border wall - and pays for it too!

Stacey Abrams says abortion can help address inflation issues

PA voters guilty of wrongspeak as they say the truth about John Fetterman

Latest News:

Greatest Hits:

Media Declares Economy Strong After Discovering Americans Still Breathing

Headline: Democrats Unveil Bold Plan To Fix Border By Redefining “Border”

Hillary Launches New “Contempt Apparel” Line To Help Americans Express Democracy

Word of the day:

Word of the day:

Word of the day:

Latest Videos:

Davos: Climate activists block private jet airport

Biden's Document Debacle!

Making sense of the investigations being launched in Washington

Talk show host speaks truth to woke celebrities

Liberal student can't handle reality of gender binary

FLASHBACK: Joe Rogan talks about Libs of Tik Tok

Arizona builds their own border wall - and pays for it too!

Stacey Abrams says abortion can help address inflation issues

PA voters guilty of wrongspeak as they say the truth about John Fetterman

Latest News:

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Greatest Hits:

Media Declares Economy Strong After Discovering Americans Still Breathing

Headline: Democrats Unveil Bold Plan To Fix Border By Redefining “Border”

Hillary Launches New “Contempt Apparel” Line To Help Americans Express Democracy