Greatest Hits

She's baaaack. Read More.

Washington, D.C. – In a historic turn of events, First Lady Jill Biden heaped unprecedented praise on President Joe Biden today for delivering an entire speech without falling asleep. This remarkable feat has sent ripples of astonishment and admiration through the political landscape. Read More.

In a surprising turn of events, President Joe Biden has publicly acknowledged that his predecessor, Donald Trump, should be the next president of the United States. This unprecedented admission came during a nationally televised address, leaving the political landscape in shock and sparking intense debate across the country. Read More.

Feeling guilty Joe? Read More.

The Art of the Ad. Read More.

In a shocking revelation that has taken the nation by storm, President Joe Biden has reportedly sold his house, sparking wild conspiracy theories about potential money laundering schemes. The President's humble abode, once a serene sanctuary in Delaware, is now at the center of a media frenzy, with pundits and armchair detectives alike suggesting that the sale is nothing more than an elaborate ruse to launder money. Read More.

Hopefully this drag queen hire doesn't steal luggage. Read More.

U.N. alarmist-in-chief António Guterres laid into fossil fuel companies calling for a ban on their ads and increased taxes on energy firms. Read More.

May 22, 2024 — In a bold move to maintain the harmonious echo chamber of collegiate discourse, Upper Crust University (UCU) has expelled sophomore Jason Freewell from its residence halls for the grievous crime of uttering an unauthorized opinion. Read More.

In a surprising turn of events, the U.S. government has announced a novel initiative to celebrate American birthdays: personalized indictments for fake crimes. This innovative approach, inspired by the lackluster enthusiasm for traditional gifts, promises to make each birthday a memorable legal adventure. Read More.

In an unexpected twist of presidential duties, President Joe Biden has embarked on a unique quest: mastering the labyrinthine corridors of the White House while grappling with the challenges of what some observers humorously term "presidential forgetfulness."  Read More.

In a stunning move that left economists scratching their heads and taxpayers clutching their wallets, the Biden administration has announced a whopping $7 billion investment in what they cryptically referred to as the "Invisibility Technology" project. Read More.

"[They're] not monitoring our health. They are not keeping track of our vitals. They are not at all taking care of us." Read More.

In a stunning revelation that has sent shockwaves through the scientific community and bridal shops alike, a team of researchers has announced the discovery of a previously unknown planet nestled deep within the bowels of our own planet Earth. Dubbed "Planet Bride," this clandestine celestial body is purportedly teeming with tulle, lace, and enough wedding paraphernalia to make even the most fervent bridezilla blush. Read More.

In a bold move that has left jaws dropping faster than punches in the ring, a local man has announced his intention to dive into the underground boxing scene with a twist that's as outrageous as it is eyebrow-raising. Buckle up, folks, because we're about to witness humanity's most primal instincts collide with its most bizarre fantasies. Read More.