TRUMP’S TARIFF TRIUMPH
April showers brought tariff powers! President Trump’s bold move to hike tariffs up to 145% on Chinese goods and at least 10% on others has resulted in a historic $16 billion in customs duties. While the mainstream media predicted economic doom, the Treasury reported a $258 billion budget surplus for April, leaving liberals scrambling for excuses.
LIBERAL MELTDOWN MODE
Bernie Sanders was seen frantically scribbling a new tax plan titled “Everything is Free if We Tax Tariffs at 100%.” AOC took to Instagram Live, tearfully explaining how tariffs are a “microaggression against imported avocados.” Meanwhile, Gavin Newsom declared California a “Tariff Sanctuary State,” banning all federal customs duties within its borders.
MAINSTREAM MEDIA MAYHEM
CNN’s headline read, “Trump’s Tariffs: A Threat to Globalism and Gluten-Free Lifestyles.” MSNBC brought on a panel of experts who unanimously agreed that the surplus was a result of “white supremacist economic policies.” The New York Times published an op-ed titled, “In Defense of Deficits: Why Owing Money is Progressive.”
TRUMP’S RESPONSE
When asked about the liberal backlash, President Trump chuckled, “They said it couldn’t be done. They said tariffs would tank the economy. Well, look who’s laughing now!” He then unveiled his new economic plan: “Make America Collect Again.”
MAGAnificent Ending
As the left continues to spiral, one thing is clear: Trump’s tariff strategy is working, and America is reaping the benefits. The budget is balancing, the economy is booming, and liberals are losing their minds. Mission accomplished.
