President Trump absolutely SHATTERED Democrat dreams yesterday by signing historic agreements with Qatar, proving once again that America First diplomacy gets results while Democrats are still busy organizing "Hugs for Hamas" fundraisers. The Qatar Emir was reportedly so impressed by Trump's negotiating prowess that he whispered, "Can you teach Nancy Pelosi how to make a deal that doesn't involve insider trading?"
DEMOCRATS RUSH TO CONDEMN SUCCESS THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND
Chuck Schumer and his band of perpetually outraged Democrats immediately called emergency therapy sessions upon hearing that Trump secured billions in Boeing aircraft purchases. "This is clearly Russian... I mean, Qatari interference!" sobbed a fictional Schumer while clutching his emotional support impeachment papers. Meanwhile, fictional AOC demanded an investigation into "whether these planes will contribute to cow farts in the atmosphere" before proposing her brilliant alternative: sustainable carrier pigeons with solar-powered GPS.
QATAR OFFERS TRUMP A JET, HILLARY OFFERS TO DELETE THE EVIDENCE
When news broke that Qatar might provide a temporary replacement for Air Force One, Hillary Clinton reportedly sent seventeen encrypted messages offering her expertise in "making transportation issues disappear." A fictional Clinton was overheard saying, "I've got a great hammer guy who can take care of those pesky flight recorders!" The temporary jet would be used while Boeing works on their new fleet, which sources say has been delayed because workers have been busy implementing Kamala Harris's suggestion to "just make the planes feel better about themselves."
BIPARTISAN PANIC REVEALS TRUE FEAR: TRUMP GETTING THINGS DONE
The real reason for Democrat outrage became clear when fictional Gavin Newsom admitted, "If Trump keeps making these deals, Americans might expect actual results from government!" Senator Rick Scott's concerns were immediately rewritten by CNN as "Republican admits Trump is literally worse than a hurricane." Meanwhile, fictional Bernie Sanders proposed his alternative economic plan: "Instead of selling planes, we should give everyone free unicorns that run on good intentions!"
AMERICA WINS WHILE DEMOCRATS POUT IN CORNER
As President Trump continues rebuilding America's global standing, Democrats remain focused on their key platform: opposing whatever Trump does, even if it means condemning peace negotiations and economic prosperity. The Qatar agreements are expected to create thousands of American jobs, which fictional Nancy Pelosi condemned as "a disgusting attempt to reduce Democrat voter rolls by making people financially independent." Trump's triumphant diplomacy tour continues to prove that MAGA dealmaking beats Democrat destructionism every time, leaving the Left with nothing but their tears and Photoshopped "evidence" of climate apocalypse to console themselves.
