Ableism : Disagreeing with someone’s opinion and forgetting their self-diagnosed condition.
Abolish : To destroy functioning systems in hopes of utopian replacements.
Academia : the Wuhan Lab of lethal ideas.
Adulting : washing your dirty clothes instead of just ordering new clothes on Amazon.
Affirmative Action: : systemic racism for profit.
Ally : Someone who loudly agrees from a safe distance—usually on Twitter.
Allyship : the more leisurely alternative to the Allyplane
Anti-racism : systemic racism for profit.
Appropriation : Cultural admiration, unless a leftist does it, then it’s appreciation.
Assault Weapon : Any scary-looking gun a leftist can’t describe accurately.
Authoritarian : What they call you while demanding censorship and speech codes.
Awareness : A public display of caring with zero private follow-through.
BIPOC : gay or lesbian POC
BLM : A slogan, a movement, and a real estate investment firm.
Bae : just one letter shy of a real babe.
Banned : What should happen to all opposing views, for "safety."
Bias : A flaw only conservatives have; leftists have "lived experience."
Bigot : A person who disagrees with progressive orthodoxy—see also: "problematic."
Binary : decidedly undecided.
Bipartisan : Democrats + 2 Republicans willing to commit political suicide.
Birthing person : "how mostly over-educated white (il)liberal women allow a few men to objectify all women."
Bisexual : Someone who is in all ways attracted to both guys and girls
Black Lives Matter : the insistence that black lives matter despite proof that everyone already knows all lives matter.
Border : An imaginary line that only matters if you're a Republican.
Boycott : Selective outrage applied to things people don’t use anyway.
Bravery : Calling yourself oppressed while trending on TikTok and verified on X.
Bureaucracy : Government inefficiency with a mission statement and a rainbow logo.
Burnout : The condition of caring too much—mainly about your own hashtags.
Call-out culture : "when your friends stand outside your window after school and scream for you to come out and play then call you a wuss when your mom won’t let you."
Cancel : To silence disagreement under the banner of "accountability."
Cancel culture : When the left doesn’t approve of your politically incorrect position and they destroy your career.
Capitalism : The system they hate—on the iPhone they bought with it.
Cis-normative : mangled attempt to simplify not-LGBTTQQIAAP.
Cisgender : the original gender identity
Cisgender : A term invented to make normal sound like a disorder.
Climate Crisis : The end of the world, rescheduled every decade.
Colonizer : Anyone with historical success that leftists now blame for everything.
Community : A vague group invoked to justify centralized control.
Consensual non-monogamy : just wait till your wife finds out!
Consent : Vital in relationships, optional when expanding government power.
Courageous : Sharing majority opinions in echo chambers with full institutional backing.
Critical Race Theory : The practice of teaching children that racism was their grandparent’s fault and that they should be ashamed for being white.
Critical Theory : Academia’s toolkit for deconstructing everything that works.
Cultural appropriation : unauthorized flattery.
Dead name : Transgender birth name
Defund : Step one in making things worse, faster.
Democracy : what the ruling elite must first destroy in order to save.
Deplatform : To protect people from thinking too much.
Disinformation : Any information that undermines their narrative, even if it’s true.
Dismantle : A word they don't like but can't logically explain.
Diversity : where everyone looks different but thinks the same.
Dogwhistle : A word they don't like but can't logically explain.
Doomscrolling : What they do daily between therapy sessions and iced oat milk.
Drag : An art form, a protest, and now a children’s show.
Drag king/queen : a person that cross dresses for performance in an exaggerated form
Echo Chamber : A place where everyone agrees, and reality is blocked.
Education : indoctrination
Election Day : the most important election of our lifetime, which will SAVE DEMOCRACY... will have results in a few days
Elitist : A person who mocks you for your job but needs Wi-Fi help.
Empowered : How leftists feel after renaming things and doing absolutely nothing.
Entitlement : The belief that society owes you success and zero criticism.
Entitlements : table scraps left over after the ruling elite gorge themselves.
Environmentalism : A religion with guilt, indulgences, and reusable grocery bags.
Equality : Outdated idea replaced by “equity,” which rewards identity over effort.
Evolve : To abandon principles in favor of trending hashtags.
Feminism : Once about equality, now mostly about angry tweets and slogans.
Fact-checking : The art of labeling truth as "missing context."
Fairness : When life is rigged in your favor—by law.
Fascist : What they call anyone who prefers order to chaos.
Feelings : The new gold standard of truth in progressive circles.
Femtech : niche products relentlessly marketed to more than 50 percent of the population.
Fiction : Most mainstream media headlines, especially before an election.
Follow the science : a religious call to action invoked when actual science refuses to cooperate.
Free speech : only if you agree with me.
Freedom : A scary concept requiring limits, censors, and “community guidelines.”
Fringe : Any idea not approved by legacy media or blue checks.
Funding : Taxpayer money funneled into activism with a glossy mission statement.
Gatekeeping : Protecting reality from being redefined into nonsense.
Gay : when one a person is attracted to the same gender
Gender affirming care : "gentler kinder castration."
Gender binary : The fact that there are only two genders
Gender fluid : what your gender studies professor spits up when she chokes on her own pronouns.
Gender spectrum : Like the rainbow but uses liberal gender terms
Gentrification : When neighborhoods improve, and that’s somehow bad.
Great Reset : what you get when you press Hillary Clinton’s big red reset button.
Green New Deal : what results when you combine the Yellow and Blue New Deals.
Grievance : The cornerstone of all modern leftist identity formation.
Grooming : What used to be illegal is now “inclusive education.”
Groupthink : Thinking independently—just like everyone else in your Slack channel.
Guilt : A weapon used to shame success and enforce compliance.
Gun Control : Disarming the law-abiding to make criminals feel safer.
Harassment : Disagreeing in public. Bonus points if it’s on campus.
Hate Speech : Anything that makes a leftist feel mildly uncomfortable.
Healing : A vague state achieved once opponents are silenced or unemployed.
Herstory : Ignoring Latin roots is very progressive, so instead of using a word that means “to investigate” or “to inquire” we made a fun word that means “her story”. Because why learn from history when we can repeat it?
Heteronormativity : someone who follows a society's gender whether they're not really straight and are fearing they won't fit in
Historical Context : A way to justify present dysfunction with past injustice.
Holistic : Science-free solutions approved by your yoga teacher and Instagram feed.
Hope : Campaign slogan now used to sell eco-anxiety and electric scooters.
Hunter Biden's Laptop : A computer with absolutely no incriminating evidence on it. Believe the mainstream media, this is just a Russian disinformation campaign. Distract yourself with children's drag show performances.
Hypocrisy : A feature, not a bug, of modern progressivism.
Hysteria : The default mode of discourse from brunch to ballot box.
Identity : The single most important thing about you, unless you're successful.
Identity politics : Group of people that form political alliances that arent the norm
Implicit bias : bias no one knows they have until a racist is paid to tell them they have it.
Inclusion : For everyone... except the people they label "problematic."
Inclusive : "all expenses paid (sorry couldn’t resist the temptation)."
Indigenous People : People share an ancestral tie to a certain area where they lived
Indoctrination : education.
Inflation : A period of two three or more quarters of negative gross domestic product growth in a row.
Influencer : Someone paid to be relatable, sell face cream, and outrage.
Infrastructure : Anything they want to fund, even if it’s gender studies.
Injustice : Any outcome where a favored group doesn’t automatically win.
Insurrection : A protest without a Starbucks sponsorship or media approval.
Intellectual : A person who complicates the obvious and still gets it wrong.
Intersectional : when different types of "oppression" are linked together
Intersectionality : where everyone comes together whether they like it or not but no one wants to live.
Intolerance : Something only conservatives can exhibit; everyone else is "justifiably angry."
Jargon : Buzzwords stacked like Jenga blocks to avoid saying anything real.
Journalism : Activism with a byline and occasional spellcheck.
Journalist : the spy who came in from the cold.
Judgmental : What they call you when you apply logic to feelings.
Just Transition : Destroying your job for a greener tomorrow that never comes.
Justice : A flexible term that now includes hashtags and property damage.
LGBTQ-inclusive : a modifier invoked only when you need to exclude everything else.
LGBTTQQIAAP : mangled attempt to define non-cis-normative.
Latinx : The act of forcing an inherently gendered language (Spanish) to be gender neutral, thereby confusing every hispanic person on the planet.
Marginalization : when margin notes become the main story.
Micro-aggression : "too small to see but powerful enough to tyrannize all of academia most Fortune 100 corporations and the entire Democratic Party."
Minor-attracted person : A person who self-identifies as a pedophile.
Misgender : who sits next to Mr. Gender?
Mostly peaceful : exceedingly violent.
Mostly-peaceful protests : The idea that burning down entire cities is fine as long as you do it in the name of Social Justice.
Oppression : a tool used by the left to make anyone feel like a victim, but only if you identify as the right race/gender/ethnicity.
Pandemic Amnesty : Demanding forgiveness for locking Americans in their homes, destroying their businesses, relentlessly shaming, forcing face diapers on people and our children, and mandating experimental MRNA Vaccines
Pansexual : "someone with the hindquarters legs and horns of a goat and an Ivy League diploma."
Performative Activism : Activism that is done to increase one's social capital rather than because of one's devotion to a cause
Period Dignity Officer : making a bloody mess out of everything.
Pronoun : a formerly amateur noun.
Queer theory : functions to complicate existing academic frameworks, and conceptions of social relations, by deconstructing the dominant, heteronormative structures undergirding extant scholarship -- whatever that means.
Queerbaiting : when straight men or women pretend to be gay and flirt with people of the same sex as a joke
Recession : a dent on the rear bumper of an EV.
Reimagine : the warning shots of class warfare.
Religion : politicized science.
Representation : Depiction of groups of people or conceptions on social media
Safe space : "where the elite children of elite parents go to avoid free speech for only $80000 a year."
Science : politicized religion.
Sl*t shame : When you shame someone for the way they act sexually.
Systemic oppression : mistreatment of a social group
Systemic racism : the DNA of the Democratic Party.
Toxic Masculinity : the idea that REAL men need to be strong and that showing emotion is a sign of weakness
Transformative : massive systemic modification designed to satisfy only the smallest statistical constituency.
Transgender : the best reason to buy a whole new wardrobe.
Transitioning : the process of being red-pilled after the mugging.
Transphobia : fear of the trans mob.
Trigger warning : what mostly peaceful protesters issue right before they pull the trigger.
Two-spirit : one spirit plus one spirit.
Unconscious bias : the idea that you can be racist in your subconscious, meaning all of us are racists without meaning to be.
White fragility : systemic racism for profit.
White privilege : "character flaw that infects mostly over-educated elite white (il)liberals when they try to convert non-racist working class whites into racist working class whites."
White rage : what elite white (il)liberals and five-star generals are full of when they describe working class whites.
White supremacy : what remains when the last black man has no rhythm and can’t jump.
Whitewash : attempt to conclude certain facts about someone or something
Woke : being too emotionally connected to a social issue
Wokeness : "the missionary religion of classism preached by mostly white mostly affluent mostly self-loathing (il)liberal secularists."
