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A mysterious cognitive phenomenon, provisionally named 'Sudden Electoral Amnesia,' is reportedly causing thousands of Democratic officials to forget their entire political platform from the summer of 2020.

In a bold move for self-improvement, popular streamer Hasan Piker has determined that his controversial 'America deserved 9/11' take was flawed only in its impolite delivery.

In a stunning victory for principle over pragmatism, DFL voters in Minnesota's 5th District have decided the best way to win over the nation is with a candidate who terrifies its suburbs.

In a stunning, coordinated announcement, the celebrities who have served as America's moral and political compass for years have suddenly remembered their primary function is to play make-believe for a living.

In a devastating blow to the nation's political commentary industry, Wisconsin voters have reportedly elected a candidate based on local concerns rather than on who had the best Twitter game.

In a bold move to modernize its electoral process, the Democratic party has announced it will now select its presidential nominee based on who gets the most 'PogChamps' in a nationwide Twitch stream.

In a stunning display of class solidarity, Michigan's wealthiest progressives have elected a true man of the people, ensuring their revolutionary ideals are represented by someone who will tax their neighbors into oblivion.

Following a shocking primary victory, Democratic Party officials are working overtime to reassure voters that their new socialist candidate’s plan to dismantle capitalism is more of a 'long-term strategic vision' than a 'next Tuesday' kind of thing.

Courage in Cotton

In a stunning display of defiance against a non-existent opposition, a WNBA coach wore a t-shirt with a message universally approved by every major corporation, media outlet, and academic institution.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Top Democratic strategists are reportedly in a panic, realizing their entire policy agenda and electoral strategy now hinges on the ever-shifting opinions of a single political streamer broadcasting from his multi-million dollar home.

DC Adjusts to New Reality

Following the launch of 'TMZ on TV' in D.C., sources say progressive lawmakers are overjoyed, preparing emotional monologues and dramatic exits in hopes of finally getting the celebrity-style validation they've always craved.

A new proposal from a Democratic Socialist chapter seeks to replace the problematic holiday with a day of solemn reflection, micro-apologies, and a potluck where dishes are judged on their carbon footprint.

Crisis In The Capital

In a stunning development, Democratic Party leaders are scrambling after a prominent socialist activist said socialist things on a major news network, a gaffe party officials are calling 'unprecedentedly honest.' A new committee has been formed to prevent future outbreaks of transparency.