After years of lawsuits, taxes, and climate lectures, Exxon announces it is relocating to Texas, where regulators reportedly still believe energy companies produce energy. Read More.
After Iranian attacks on oil tankers spike global prices, analysts say the real mystery is why the media is still pretending basic economics is complicated. Read More.
Harvard officials express deep concern after the Trump administration demands admissions data proving students are admitted without racial preferences. Read More.
Iran’s newly appointed supreme leader suffers mysterious injury within hours, prompting experts to wonder if the position now includes a free punch card. Read More.
Student activists calling for sanctuary campuses say universities must protect them from federal immigration policy, uncomfortable opinions, and early morning classes. Read More.
After a rare 9-0 Supreme Court ruling on immigration policy, thousands of constitutional experts on social media quickly confirmed the justices clearly misunderstood the Constitution. Read More.
As tensions rise overseas, Washington’s top analysts explain the conflict is “extremely complex” before leaving town for think-tank conferences and cable TV panels. Read More.
A new poll reveals Trump’s popularity surpassing major Democrats and late-night comedians, prompting networks to consider replacing jokes with emergency therapy sessions. Read More.
Administration announces multi-agency investigation into rising egg prices and the deeper philosophical question of why chickens keep making them.
Read More.
Military unveils powerful new laser system designed to neutralize enemy threats—and possibly vaporize online debates before they spiral out of control. Read More.
