Articles

VP JD Vance reminds Iran that the U.S. military is fully charged, Constitutionally caffeinated, and locked in for another patriotic pummeling should they dare tinker with nukes again. Read More.

Trump has officially grounded Israel and Iran for launching post-curfew fireworks. The Middle East meltdown now has Big Daddy Trump yelling at both kids from the Oval Office lawn. Read More.

Sources say Iran's ruling elite are preparing to unplug the Ayatollah and plug in literally anyone else as he reportedly begged Putin for backup—only to get ghosted harder than Hunter Biden’s laptop. Read More.

Israel just vaporized Iran’s mood board for repression — and the mullahs are one tantrum away from calling HR. The Ayatollah’s inner circle is now applying essential oils to a scorched command bunker. Read More.

Iran safely evacuated its nuke materials before Israeli missiles struck — which CNN described as a “bold peace gesture.” Meanwhile, President Trump threatens, then un-threatens, then maybe threatens again. Negotiations now scheduled to begin never. Read More.

Trump roasted the Wall Street Journal for pretending to read his mind on Iran. Turns out, he’s not in the habit of sharing top-secret military plans with journos who think quoting “anonymous sources” is Pulitzer-worthy. Read More.

The Federal Reserve unveiled its boldest comedy routine yet: promising higher inflation and higher interest rates in the name of “stability.” Because what’s more stable than economic whiplash? Read More.

President Trump eases MAGA nerves by clarifying he doesn't want a long war with Iran—just a swift, freedom-packed firework show. The message? No nukes for Iran… unless it's ours. Read More.

President Trump takes to Truth Social to casually reveal total control of Iranian airspace, Ayatollah's GPS coordinates, and his new side hustle as Global Sky Overlord. Iran reportedly responds by turning their radar knobs slightly harder. Read More.

As missiles fly and oil-rich nations go boom, top analysts bravely admit they’re confused — but only after writing twelve contradictory predictions and blaming “vibes.” Read More.

In a bold move to protect America from invisible threats, President Trump considers banning 36 more countries — most of which CNN anchors can’t pronounce. Read More.

Israel prepares to vaporize Iran's nuclear ambitions while global elites clutch pearls over possible UV exposure. Read More.

Trump directs ICE to clean out Democrat strongholds, triggering absolute hysteria among progressive elites who suddenly remember borders exist. Read More.

Senate Republicans are prepared to cancel fireworks, barbecues, and freedom itself if that's what it takes to pass Trump’s “Big Beautiful Bill.” Meanwhile, Democrats clutch pearls and warn of fiscal doom. Read More.

In a bold new chapter of international diplomacy, Trump offers Iran the chance to avoid further “peaceful obliteration” after Israel demonstrates the world's first "shock-and-awe-for-breakfast" campaign. Read More.