Articles

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Elite Universities Introduce “Feelings First Curriculum,” Replace Exams With Emotional Vibes
New academic standards prioritize emotional resonance over measurable learning, allowing students to pass classes by simply sensing the answer. Read More.
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White House Unveils New “Patriotism Watchlist” to Monitor Excessive American Pride
In an effort to promote “healthy nationalism management,” the administration launches a list targeting citizens who display suspicious levels of love for America. Read More.
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GOP Doctors: Let’s Rip Off the Band-Aid and Call It ‘Freedom Healthcare
Republicans roll out a new health-care plan promising freedom, flexibility and a bold rejection of handouts — but maybe not of irony. Read More.
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New Conservative Super-Platform Promises to Help You Give to Politics — Without Big Tech Guessing Your Favorite Snack
A new conservative fundraising tool pledges transparency, low fees, and no woke data profiling — even if you just want to send $5. Read More.
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$12 Billion for Farmers: When Tariffs Break Fences, Uncle Sam Rushes In With Band-Aids
Tariffs wreak havoc — then the White House waves a giant checkbook and hopes nobody asks for a refund policy. Read More.
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Congress: Because Nothing Says “Grand Strategy” Like a Blockbuster-Style Divorce with Bureaucracy
White House chops independent agencies — Congress watches popcorn while bureaucratic fireworks ignite. Read More.
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EU Officials Furious as Trump Administration Hints at Netflix-Warner Bros. Regulation — Because Spicy Shows Are Too Spicy
Brussels screeches over U.S. plan to regulate media giants — apparently global elites never imagined their binge-watching fiefdom might be taxed. Read More.
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Trump Admin to Charge Illegal Immigrants $5,000 “Apprehension Fee,” Because Why Not
Washington adds $5,000 “apprehension fee” for illegal entry — because nothing says “welcoming” like a steep surprise charge at the border. Read More.
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Congress Unveils Bold New Plan: Replace Every Border Agent With Diversity Consultant
Lawmakers argue identity workshops will “soothe tensions” at the border and encourage trespassers to “honor their inner journey.” Read More.
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$6.25 Billion ‘Trump Christmas Gift’: 25 Million Kids Get $250 — Because Math Is Patriotic
In a shockingly festive budget move, the Dells and Trump declare $250 a kid the ultimate patriot’s stocking stuffer for 2025. Read More.
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America — Because Dual Citizenship Makes Hearts Faint and Loyalties Confuse
US politicians decide dual citizenship is un-American. Or is it un-Congressional? Either way, pick one or get out. Read More.
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Laser Justice: How Israel’s High-Tech Toothpick Will Save Humanity
Israel swaps expensive missiles for a high-speed death laser – turns out the future of warfare smells faintly of sci-fi and budget cuts. Read More.
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Senate Discovers New Constitutional Crisis: Prosecutors Too Popular to Prosecute
When even the justice system wants nothing to do with your case — must be something unconstitutional in the air. Read More.
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White House Abruptly Clarifies: ‘We Didn’t Tell Navy to Shoot Survivors, Admiral Did That
When military orders get more confusing than woke DEI guidelines — welcome to government transparency theatre. Read More.
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“War-Crime!” Outrage After Boat Strike — Congress Blames Paperwork Error
Congress demands resignations over “war-crimes” — actually caused by mislabeled memo and a missing coffee-stain on the order form. Read More.
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