Articles

EU Officials Furious as Trump Administration Hints at Netflix-Warner Bros. Regulation — Because Spicy Shows Are Too Spicy

Brussels screeches over U.S. plan to regulate media giants — apparently global elites never imagined their binge-watching fiefdom might be taxed. Read More.

Trump Admin to Charge Illegal Immigrants $5,000 “Apprehension Fee,” Because Why Not

Washington adds $5,000 “apprehension fee” for illegal entry — because nothing says “welcoming” like a steep surprise charge at the border. Read More.

Congress Unveils Bold New Plan: Replace Every Border Agent With Diversity Consultant

Lawmakers argue identity workshops will “soothe tensions” at the border and encourage trespassers to “honor their inner journey.” Read More.

$6.25 Billion ‘Trump Christmas Gift’: 25 Million Kids Get $250 — Because Math Is Patriotic

In a shockingly festive budget move, the Dells and Trump declare $250 a kid the ultimate patriot’s stocking stuffer for 2025. Read More.

America — Because Dual Citizenship Makes Hearts Faint and Loyalties Confuse

US politicians decide dual citizenship is un-American. Or is it un-Congressional? Either way, pick one or get out. Read More.

Laser Justice: How Israel’s High-Tech Toothpick Will Save Humanity

Israel swaps expensive missiles for a high-speed death laser – turns out the future of warfare smells faintly of sci-fi and budget cuts. Read More.

Senate Discovers New Constitutional Crisis: Prosecutors Too Popular to Prosecute

When even the justice system wants nothing to do with your case — must be something unconstitutional in the air. Read More.

White House Abruptly Clarifies: ‘We Didn’t Tell Navy to Shoot Survivors, Admiral Did That

When military orders get more confusing than woke DEI guidelines — welcome to government transparency theatre. Read More.

“War-Crime!” Outrage After Boat Strike — Congress Blames Paperwork Error

Congress demands resignations over “war-crimes” — actually caused by mislabeled memo and a missing coffee-stain on the order form. Read More.

Trump Halts “Autopen Asylum” — Border Agents Replace Migrants With Selfie-Sticks

Washington “solves” illegal immigration by rolling out selfie-sticks and promises that no human alien will cross — only ghosts and TikTok clips. Read More.

Hypocrisy Holiday: Woke Left Declares “Thanksgiving Mourning,” America Wonders If Turkey Was Offended

The Left rewrites Thanksgiving as a “day of mourning,” because apparently even turkeys are guilty until proven innocent. Read More.

Billion-Dollar Burnout: FBI Arrests Surge and America Discovers It’s Because Crime Is Back in Style

The FBI arrests for assaulting federal officers triple — apparently Americans suddenly rediscovered crime, and the boys in blue couldn’t believe their lucky day. Read More.

Deport ‘Em All! Trump's DHS Reminds Burmese Nationals: Your Stay Was Temporary — Like Avocado Toast

Burmese migrants learn that “temporary protection” under the U.S. is about as permanent as yesterday’s artisanal brunch. Read More.

Peace at Last? Trump’s “28-Point Plan” Turns Diplomacy into Fast-Food Combo Deal

A triumphant peace deal becomes the latest “combo meal” in geopolitics — order two territories, get a ceasefire free. Read More.

Survey Finds Most 40-Something Voters Want ‘Democratic Socialist’ President — Because Why Not?”

New poll reveals under-40 voters are fine with socialism, as long as it’s democratic and in vogue. Read More.