Articles

Dr. Anthony Fauci, the former high priest of public health, appeared before Congress only to reveal he's suffering from a convenient inability to remember any of the key events he presided over.

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Newly discussed pandemic notes inspire a museum exhibit where hindsight receives its own government-funded wing. Read More.

Officials unveil a revolutionary conflict strategy where military action pauses every time someone requests a diplomatic timeout. Read More.

Director worries Homer's ending may offend modern audiences, inspiring studios to replace ancient epics with emotionally safer adventures. Read More.

New poll shows broad support for voter ID, prompting democracy experts to warn that elections may become dangerously understandable. Read More.

Tech leaders promise artificial intelligence will strengthen human relationships by replacing nearly all of them with automated notifications. Read More.

New trade policy reportedly includes a calculator that bills imports for hurting America's feelings before customs even opens the box. Read More.

Washington bravely tackles bureaucracy by creating fresh bureaucracy to investigate existing bureaucracy. Read More.

Experts reportedly insist biology is outdated until someone asks who qualifies for the women's championship trophy. Read More.

Washington celebrated a landmark achievement this week after officials announced the creation of the Federal Office of Bureaucratic Streamlining, an agency dedicated exclusively to reducing unnecessary government bureaucracy. Read More.

Elon Musk's AI-powered Odyssey sparks panic as historians fear facts could accidentally trend again. Read More.

Officials reassure citizens they have every right to know the truth, provided nobody ever actually sees it. Read More.

University unveils groundbreaking admissions formula proving grades are merely colonial suggestions with excellent posture. Read More.

Officials unveil a bold new healthcare affordability plan by making expensive bills easier to read before patients faint. Read More.

As AI subscriptions surge worldwide, officials insist the real crisis is making sure chatbots feel “seen” before answering questions. Read More.