Democrats experienced a miraculous awakening yesterday when they discovered that saving $400 million in taxpayer money is apparently "unconstitutional." Rep. Jasmine Crockett, whose constitutional expertise previously extended to "orange man bad," declared that accepting free things for America violates some law she definitely read once. "Trump should make Americans pay full price like a PATRIOT," whispered a fictional Crockett to her Gucci handbag.
Bernie Sanders Horrified By Concept Of Not Spending Money
Socialist millionaire Bernie Sanders nearly fainted when he heard that someone might get something without paying billions for it. "This is KLEPTOCRACY!" screamed the fictional Vermont Senator while standing in front of his third vacation home. "We must force Americans to pay $400 million for a jet they could get for free! That's REAL socialism!" Meanwhile, fictional Senator Whitehouse called the deal "smelly," apparently mistaking the agreement for his own climate policy.
Democrats Rush To Protect America From Savings And Prosperity
Senator Chris Murphy bravely stood on the Senate floor to warn Americans about the dangers of international cooperation and cost-effective diplomacy. "Trump's willingness to save taxpayer money and strengthen alliances proves he's a THREAT TO DEMOCRACY," the fictional Senator declared while wearing a tinfoil hat fashioned from recycled Hillary Clinton campaign posters. Murphy then unveiled his alternative solution: "Let's just send Qatar $800 million and get NOTHING in return – the Democrat way!"
Constitutional Scholars Perplexed As Dems Discover New "Pay Full Price" Amendment
When reminded that the aircraft would belong to the United States Air Force and not Trump personally, fictional Rep. Torres covered his ears and shouted, "LA LA LA CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Constitutional experts were stunned to learn about the previously undiscovered amendment requiring presidents to reject gifts to the nation. "The founders clearly intended for taxpayers to pay maximum prices for everything," explained fictional Senator Welch, who later admitted he thought the Emoluments Clause was a Santa character in a Harry Potter book.
Trump Saves Americans Millions While Dems Demand To See The Manager
As President Trump continues creating jobs and strengthening America's global position, Democrats remain committed to their core value of opposing anything beneficial to the country. When Trump explained that saving $400 million would help "MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN," fictional Democrats everywhere clutched their pearls in horror at the prospect of greatness without their permission. Meanwhile, Americans everywhere celebrated another Trump victory that puts America First while Democrats put their tantrums first, as usual.
