In a move that has Democrats clutching their passports and googling “how to move to Toronto,” the U.S. Supreme Court has agreed to hear President Donald Trump’s challenge to birthright citizenship—the sacred practice where random tourists can pop into America, deliver a baby, and unlock a lifetime supply of taxpayer-funded goodies.
Trump’s bold plan? End the “magic baby lottery” once and for all, restoring sanity, sovereignty, and the wild idea that American citizenship should actually mean something.
Naturally, the left immediately lost their minds. CNN anchors were last seen hyperventilating into paper bags while MSNBC held a candlelight vigil for “the Constitution, or whatever document says babies born during a connecting flight get a Social Security number.”
“This is an attack on our democracy!” cried various people who haven’t read a civics book since 8th grade. “Next, he’ll want people to actually live here legally before becoming citizens!”
Meanwhile, MAGA Nation rejoiced. Ending birthright citizenship would close the backdoor that globalists left wide open, the same door through which millions have wandered in without so much as a "may I?"
Trump’s America First logic is simple: if you want to be a citizen, maybe don’t treat the U.S. like a maternity Airbnb.
The Supreme Court’s agreement to hear the case has the usual suspects already predicting doom—because nothing terrifies D.C. elites more than Trump reminding America that it’s actually a country, not a hotel lobby.
Stay tuned: if Trump wins this one, the “Birth Tourism Industry” might finally have to switch to Yelp reviews in Beijing instead of green cards in Miami.
America First. Babies second. Passports third.
