TRUMP'S ECONOMIC SLAPDOWN: 0.1% INFLATION? "YOU'RE WELCOME!"
President Trump stood before roaring crowds declaring, “We took Biden’s disaster and fixed it in record time. 0.1% inflation — never been done before, folks. Beautiful. Tremendous.”
DEMOCRATS PANIC: "PEOPLE MIGHT GET USED TO PROSPERITY!"
Nancy Pelosi, clutching her imported gelato, warned: “If people start affording rent again, they might stop needing us.”
MEDIA MELTDOWN: CNN LAUNCHES "INFLATION HYSTERIA SPECIAL"
Anderson Cooper breathlessly warned, “Too much stability could destabilize our climate models.” MSNBC aired a 7-hour special titled: ‘The Horror Of Full Employment’.
BERNIE SANDERS DEMANDS "EMERGENCY TAX HIKES"
Bernie screamed into a microphone: “If billionaires aren’t suffering, the system is broken! Free everything, tax everyone, or we all perish!”
MAGA NATION CELEBRATES: "AMERICA IS BACK, BABY!"
Meanwhile, Americans rejoiced. “Gas is under $3. Steaks are affordable. My 401k is growing again. Thank you, Mr. President!” chanted a crowd as Trump hats flew through the air like confetti.
