A rousing Quantico speech rebrands bureaucracy as battlefield and suggests peace is the inevitable side-effect of being extremely, aggressively prepared to fight. The secretary’s rollback plan reads like a fitness memo crossed with a motivational poster. Read More.
A brief, gleeful poke at the shutdown melodrama: the president says he can “reshape” government via layoffs, Democrats cry about health credits, and America watches the bureaucracy audition for extinction. Read More.
Washington’s favorite soap opera just turned into a demolition derby as Trump and Russ Vought slam the brakes on D.C.’s gravy train, sending Democrats into full-on toddler tantrum mode over their $1.5 trillion spending spree. Read More.
Washington slapped a giant “Closed For Maintenance” sign on the federal maze, and the press called it apocalypse. Flights might crawl, science is paused, and Chuck Schumer’s piggy bank just found the Arctic. Read More.
A brisk, deadpan look at how YouTube’s $24.5 million settlement turned into the fanciest apology money can buy — complete with ballroom plans and humblebrags. Read More.
A brisk, headline-ready takedown of Moscow’s morning routine, courtesy of Vice President JD Vance and a president who thinks “paper tiger” doubles as foreign-policy jargon. Read More.
Pete Hegseth quietly ordered hundreds of top officers to Virginia for a meeting nobody will summarize — which, per tradition, guarantees the internet will invent 12 theories and three coup d’état musicals. Read More.
A breathtaking rhetorical 180, as Trump tells Ukraine to “act now” because Russia has “big economic trouble,” prompting world leaders to check their calendars for plot twists.
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A UN mic-drop moment where President Trump — baffled and amused — explains to NATO that buying Russian energy is like tipping the arsonist while asking them to put out the fire. Read More.
A Presidential exposé reveals that climate policy is apparently a decades-long illusion, prompting meteorologists to form an official apology choir and liberals to start knitting emergency sweaters for the economy. Read More.
A presidential roast of the United Nations’ alleged travel-voucher program for border sightseeing, delivered like a man who found a rogue Kickstarter for civilization and is furious about the shipping fees. Read More.
Trump’s “Make America Healthy Again” commission has finally solved autism: it’s Tylenol. Democrats insist it’s still climate change, systemic racism, or too much freedom. Read More.
A presidential executive order calls Antifa a “militarist, anarchist enterprise” and directs agencies to dismantle it — a move that arrives hot on the heels of Charlie Kirk’s assassination and international nods from leaders like Orbán and Meloni. Read More.
A tragicomic decline in F-1 visas sends admissions offices into existential dread and consular kiosks into spreadsheet-based therapy — because nothing says “global leadership” like aggressive form-filling. Read More.
An absurdly large crowd shows up to honor a media figure, launching the greatest single-day arm-waving event in Glendale history — and forcing TV anchors to look solemn while Googling “How Many People Is That?” Read More.
