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Local Man Shocked to Discover That Reading the Entire Terms and Conditions Actually Required
COLUMBUS, OHIO - In a shocking turn of events, local man Greg Thompson has reportedly stumbled upon a groundbreaking revelation: reading the entire terms and conditions before clicking "agree" is not just a suggestion, but a legitimate necessity. Read More.
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Should a senile old man be the leader of the free world?
NO ONE outside the White House and a handful of top Democratic and Republican leaders knows the full extent of Joe Biden’s control of his own presidency. Read More.
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Electric Cars Actually Powered by Tiny Hamsters Running on Wheels
In a groundbreaking exposé that's sure to jolt the world, investigative journalists have uncovered the shocking truth behind electric cars: they're not powered by cutting-edge battery technology or renewable energy sources. No, dear readers, brace yourselves for the truth that's stranger than fiction. Electric cars are, in fact, powered by tiny hamsters running tirelessly on miniature wheels hidden beneath the hood. Read More.
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The Great Electric Vehicle Con
Led by an elderly man experiencing cognitive decline, the Biden administration has launched a strident effort to promote electric vehicle (E.V.) sales.  This push is part of a globalist climate change agenda that ignores the unreliability of ren... Read More.
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Woke Disney: When Happily Ever After Meets Social Justice
Disney, the beloved entertainment powerhouse, has recently found itself at the center of a storm of controversy surrounding its newfound commitment to social justice and inclusivity. In an attempt to stay relevant in today's ever-changing social landscape, Disney has embraced "wokeness" with open arms, and the results have been nothing short of, well, interesting. Read More.
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Now we know why Disney went Woke
A newly leaked video suggests Bob Iger's feelings towards the events of Jan 6th played a pivotal role in Disney's turn to politics. Read More.
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Florida Man Attempts to Woo Alligator with Sonnet, Ends Up in Swamp Tango
Pompano Beach, FL - In a move that surprised exactly no one familiar with the Sunshine State's unique brand of eccentricity, a Florida man, Billy "The Bard" Bobagano, attempted to woo an eight-foot alligator with a sonnet last Tuesday evening. The incident, which unfolded like a scene from a fever dream fueled by gatorade and questionable life choices, left onlookers both bewildered and oddly impressed. Read More.
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Florida Deputy Mistakes Acorn for Shots Fired, Unloads Clip on His Own Car
A Florida sheriff's deputy is looking more like a cartoonish cop from "Reno 911!" on body cam footage of him mistaking an acorn hitting his patrol car for bullets ... prompting him to open fire on the vehicle. Read More.
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Local Man Demands Refund After Discovering His "Free Will" Doesn't Include Unlimited Churros
SANCTIMONIOUSVILLE, CA - In a shocking display of consumer entitlement, Gerald "Jerry" Grumblesworth, 42, returned to the Church of Personal Choice yesterday demanding a full refund for his "free will." Grumblesworth, a self-proclaimed "free thinker," was apparently upset to discover that his free will came with limitations, namely, the lack of an endless supply of churros. Read More.
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Joe Biden Joins China's TikTok to Reach Younger Voters
President Joe Biden has officially joined the Chinese app TikTok in an effort to reach younger voters. The president uploaded his first TikTok video on Sunday, alongside the caption, "lol hey guys." Read More.
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Scientists Debunk Popular Theory: Earth Not Actually Flat, Just Extremely Wrinkled
WASHINGTON D.C. - In a groundbreaking revelation that has sent shockwaves through the Flat Earther community, a team of leading scientists has announced that Earth is, in fact, not flat. Instead, they claim it's simply "incredibly wrinkled." Read More.
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Local Man Declares War on Socks, Citing "Unfair Thread Advantage"
Smalltown, USA - In a shocking turn of events, 72-year-old retiree Herbert Butterton has declared war on his socks, accusing them of "unfair thread advantage" and "persistent shrinkage conspiracies." Butterton, known for his eccentric gardening habits and fondness for polka music, made the announcement during a heated debate with his pet goldfish, Bartholomew, over the optimal watering schedule for petunias. Read More.
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Which Biden do we believe?
Which Biden is it? Dementia Joe or Crafty Joe? Read More.
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Woke Archaeologists Unearth Ancient Cancel Culture Tablet, Triggered by Lack of Gender-Neutral Papyrus
CAIRO, EGYPT - In a groundbreaking discovery that's sure to rewrite history (and possibly offend it), archaeologists have unearthed a clay tablet dating back to 2500 BC, containing the earliest example of cancel culture ever found. The inscription, written in a primitive form of hieroglyphics, details a heated debate between two pharaohs over the proper use of pronouns for a particularly stubborn sphinx. Read More.
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