Articles

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, speaking through what sounded like a potato on dial-up internet, demanded that the world finally uninstall Vladimir Putin and reboot Russia in safe mode. Read More.

Trump slaps down Russia’s backup villain Dmitry Medvedev with a flaming Truth Social post, calls India’s economy a junkyard, and reminds both nations who’s boss. Read More.

President Trump might skip the G20 in South Africa because apparently "land reform" is a euphemism for "farm the farmers." He's considering sending someone else—possibly a bolder, smarter lifeform like a MAGA hat or Ivanka’s AI clone. Read More.

Chuck Schumer is now America’s top conspiracy theorist, demanding the FBI protect the nation from Epstein files... and maybe also psychic brainwaves and invisible Trump clones. Read More.

Under President Trump’s ironclad America First policies, the U.S. trade deficit plummets — not because the people are poor, but because they’re done funding foreign nonsense. Americans are finally importing less weakness and more winning. Read More.

As the Russiagate rug gets pulled, Clinton, Brennan, and their elite club of “collusion creatives” may soon find out that orchestrating a hoax with the FBI isn’t covered by HR’s "Fun & Games" policy. Read More.

In a stunning turn of events, a copper mine might actually open in America—without requiring a UN peacekeeping force, a prayer circle, or AOC’s handwritten permission slip. Read More.

Donald Trump just signed the most powerful trade deal in human history—according to Donald Trump—while taking a break between golf swings and windmill rants. Read More.

Trump credits Supreme Court immunity ruling for keeping Obama out of jail — and hilariously demands a thank-you card while Democrats scramble to explain how "implausible" intel just sort of... happened. Read More.

Trump signs executive order to clean up America's sidewalks, sparking national panic among Democrats who believe street camping is a constitutional right. Read More.

House Republicans have bravely subpoenaed a jailed Ghislaine Maxwell—while accidentally-on-purpose ignoring the stack of Epstein files with all the actual names. Because nothing says “accountability” like interrogating the receptionist while torching the guest list. Read More.

Foreign hackers infiltrated the U.S. nuclear weapons agency — but don’t worry, only a “very small number” of crucial systems were compromised. Like, maybe just the button. Read More.

A hilarious exposé on how America outsourced its defense tech power supply to China, then acted shocked when China locked the battery drawer. Featuring clueless bureaucrats, Green New Deal delusions, and the ultimate “Made in China” national security crisis. Read More.

A newly declassified report reveals that the intelligence community, under direct orders from President Obama, basically tossed truth out the window and replaced it with a Mad Libs fanfic about Putin loving Trump. Spoiler: They had zero proof. Read More.

Kamala Harris took to X (formerly Twitter, still irrelevant) to celebrate one year since launching the most aggressively forgettable presidential campaign in American history. Naturally, America responded with laughter and memes. Read More.