Articles

GOP Debates Hiring Meteorologist for Midterms After Trump’s Strategy “Unclear but Stormy”

Republicans weigh weather forecasts and crystal balls as Trump refuses to pick a plan — midterms now “partly uncertain.” Read More.

GOP Chiefs Reportedly Considering Crystal Ball Over Trump Midterm Strategy

Republicans debate hiring psychics after Trump refuses to pick a plan, insists “it’ll be obvious later.” Read More.

President Trump Thanks NFL for Uniting America Against Another Halftime Show

The president praised the Super Bowl for reminding Americans that no matter their politics, they can still agree the halftime show was confusing. Read More.

Kid Rock to Host Super Bowl Counter-Halftime Show — Because Who Needs Cultural Relevance Anyway?

When the NFL picks a global superstar, conservatives respond by booking Dad Rock, creating a halftime showdown that sounds like a family reunion gone slightly off-key. Read More.

LinkedIn Announces New Job Category: ‘Professional Outraged Conservative

Big Tech accidentally empowers patriotic job seekers by redefining “professional content moderation” as “free speech adventure.” Read More.

President Trump Asks Harvard Why Taxpayers Keep Funding Feelings Degrees

The president questioned whether federal dollars should support universities that produce debt, protests, and graduates allergic to reality. Read More.

Britain Declares Centrism Officially Illegal After Prosper UK Trademark Battle

In a stunning twist, British politics now defines “centrism” as legally unlawful, following a trademark fight that proves moderation can’t even own its own name. Read More.

Conservatives Cheer as Costa Rica Gets a Red-White-Blue Makeover — Without Talking About Guns or Tacos

Costa Rica’s new conservative president promises liberty, coffee, and no weird football halftime protests — at least that’s the hope. Read More.

Suella Braverman Says “I’ve Come Home” After Political Odyssey, Wanders Into Reform UK Rally

British politics reaches peak sitcom as ex-Tory home secretary swaps parties, sense of direction, and possibly socks. Read More.

LinkedIn Accidentally Declares Patriotism “Hateful” Then Pretends It Was Just a Glitch

Big Tech calls pro-ICE post removal an “oopsie,” sparking memes, boycotts, and at least three lost connections. Read More.

Johnson Announces ‘Ice Breaker’ Deal: Conservatives Thrilled To Fund ICE Only On Tuesdays

Conservatives rejoice as Mike Johnson cleverly rebrands ICE funding as “Tuesday-only exclusive,” boosting morale and concession stand sales. Read More.

Turning Point USA’s Halftime Show Still Missing Headliner, Sponsors Including ‘Random Guitarist Who Knows Someone

With less than 10 days to go, TPUSA’s All-American Halftime Show boasts no confirmed acts — but it definitely has an enthusiastic roadie named Steve. Read More.

President Announces “Board of Peace,” World Leaders Wonder If There’s A Spot For Philosophers Too

In a bold diplomatic gambit, the president launches a global peace board — mainly attended by countries whose biggest war is over tariffs. Read More.

University Adds ‘Silence’ Requirement To Free Speech Policy For Safety

Administrators say students are free to express themselves—provided they do so quietly, briefly, and with institutional approval. Read More.

University Introduces New Diversity Program Excluding Anyone Who Disagrees

School leaders celebrate inclusion by carefully filtering out students whose beliefs might make meetings uncomfortable. Read More.