Articles

A Presidential exposé reveals that climate policy is apparently a decades-long illusion, prompting meteorologists to form an official apology choir and liberals to start knitting emergency sweaters for the economy. Read More.

A presidential roast of the United Nations’ alleged travel-voucher program for border sightseeing, delivered like a man who found a rogue Kickstarter for civilization and is furious about the shipping fees. Read More.

Trump’s “Make America Healthy Again” commission has finally solved autism: it’s Tylenol. Democrats insist it’s still climate change, systemic racism, or too much freedom. Read More.

A presidential executive order calls Antifa a “militarist, anarchist enterprise” and directs agencies to dismantle it — a move that arrives hot on the heels of Charlie Kirk’s assassination and international nods from leaders like Orbán and Meloni. Read More.

A tragicomic decline in F-1 visas sends admissions offices into existential dread and consular kiosks into spreadsheet-based therapy — because nothing says “global leadership” like aggressive form-filling. Read More.

An absurdly large crowd shows up to honor a media figure, launching the greatest single-day arm-waving event in Glendale history — and forcing TV anchors to look solemn while Googling “How Many People Is That?” Read More.

In a move described as “dramatic, decisive, and deliciously theatrical,” the president announced Antifa would be officially labeled a terrorist organization — and the country responded with the usual blend of outrage, memes, and merch opportunities. Read More.

Breitbart reports Kimmel refused to apologize for blaming the “MAGA gang” after Charlie Kirk’s assassination; FCC heat rose, Nexstar yanked the show. Read More.

A visit meant to be all pomp and protocol instead becomes the royal family’s most spectacular campaign commercial yet — complete with carriages, 4,000 pieces of silver, and a monarch who apparently added “Trump Fan Club” to his knighthood duties. Fox News Read More.

A gleefully snarky take on the Fed’s expected 25-bp cut — because nothing says “serious monetary policy” like unanimous spreadsheet high-fives and White House pressure. Read More.

A diplomatic tango in Madrid apparently solved global security and teen boredom at once: China and the U.S. reached a “framework” to keep TikTok alive — pending a phone call and a patriotic makeover. Read More.

A popcorn-ready proposal: stop the quarterly freak-outs, start semiannual serenity — because apparently CEOs need more time to find their staplers. Trump floated the idea that companies switch to twice-a-year reporting to cut costs and encourage longer-term planning. Fox Business Read More.

In Owen Anderson’s eulogy, Charlie Kirk is cast as a Socratic menace to campus dogma. This lampoon follows the footnotes and the torches. Read More.

After Charlie Kirk’s assassination at UVU, Trump torched “the left,” promised sweeping probes, and treated a New Jersey runway like the world’s spiciest courtroom. Investigators are fanning out—fast. Read More.

After tea with King Charles, Harry rides an overnight train to Kyiv to “humanize” the war and meet 200 veterans. Read More.