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In a move that has left both military strategists and economists scratching their heads, the government has announced that it will not be deploying its latest weapon innovation—a top-secret, gold-infused armament. The reason? It's simply too valuable to risk on the battlefield. Read More.

Vladimir Putin's military is unlikely to use its prized T-14 Armata tank in combat in Ukraine because it is "too valuable," an ally of the Russian president said. Read More.

Biden's Secret Weapon Revealed: An Army of Overly Polite GrandparentsIn a stunning revelation, sources close to the Oval Office have leaked information about President Joe Biden's secret weapon in handling political opponents and international disputes: an army of overly polite grandparents. Yes, you read that right. Forget diplomatic cables and nuclear deterrents; the Biden administration is deploying a force of gentle, cookie-baking seniors to navigate the treacherous waters of global politics. Read More.

WASHINGTON D.C. - In a stunning move that has left political pundits scratching their heads, President Joe Biden has announced his bold new "anti-aging" plan, vowing to turn 80 years old once more. Read More.

In a groundbreaking revelation that has shaken the foundations of physics and social justice alike, a group of radical academics has boldly declared gravity to be unequivocally racist. Yes, you read that correctly: gravity, the force that keeps us grounded and planets in orbit, has now been accused of systemic discrimination. In a move that is sure to send shockwaves through the scientific community, these intrepid thinkers have unveiled their findings, pointing fingers at Sir Isaac Newton and his supposedly oppressive laws of motion. Read More.

In a stunning turn of events, President Joe Biden has unveiled his groundbreaking investment strategy, proving once and for all that the art of the deal knows no borders. In a move that has raised eyebrows, dropped jaws, and sent conspiracy theorists into a frenzy, Biden has reportedly secured a hefty sum of money from China, prompting a flurry of questions about ethics, transparency, and the true meaning of international diplomacy. Read More.

The Biden family bagged $5 million from the business partner of the “White Wolf,” a Chinese criminal gang leader who helped create the fentanyl pipeline now decimating the United States, Peter Schweizer details in his new book, "Blood Money." Read More.

In a stunning display of bipartisan cooperation, politicians from across the spectrum have come together to unveil their latest masterstroke in governance: a revolutionary plan to solve all of society's problems by simply pretending they don't exist. Read More.

In a move that left many scratching their heads and others rolling on the floor laughing, President Joe Biden has unveiled his latest plan Read More.

In a stunning display of human perseverance and self-control, local man Dave Peterson has achieved what many deemed impossible: assembling an IKEA dresser without uttering a single curse word. The feat, which has catapulted Peterson to near-mythical status in his neighborhood, has left friends and family in awe and disbelief. Read More.

In an astonishing display of delusion, local politician Joe Schmoe has announced his unwavering determination to stay in the race for mayor, despite polling at an impressive 0%. Schmoe, who seems to have mistaken the word "campaign" for "camping out," has steadfastly refused to acknowledge the writing on the wall – that his chances of winning are about as likely as finding a unicorn grazing in Central Park. Read More.

The former South Carolina governor says she isn’t going anywhere, will stay in “until the last person votes.” Read More.

In a stunning turn of events, President Joe Biden has reportedly misplaced his memory once again, sending shockwaves through the nation. The incident, reminiscent of a forgetful grandfather searching for his reading glasses, has left Americans scratching their heads and wondering if they accidentally stumbled into a political satire sitcom. Read More.

Former President Trump's high-top sneakers sold out hours after their launch Saturday at Sneaker Con in Philadelphia. Read More.