OPERATION LIBERAL MELTDOWN LAUNCHED
President Trump ignited liberal hairpieces on fire Sunday night, declaring ICE would expand operations into America's most Democrat-infested urban jungles: Los Angeles, Chicago, and New York. "We're clearing out the illegal voter farms," Trump posted on TruthSocial, causing CNN anchors to spontaneously combust.
DEMOCRATS ACCUSE TRUMP OF VOTER GENOCIDE
"This is an assault on democracy itself!" shrieked AOC while live-streaming from her taxpayer-funded safe room. "Without illegal voters, how can we win anything?" she accidentally confessed before her staff pulled the plug.
GAVIN NEWSOM DECLARES CALIFORNIA A REBELLION ZONE
California's governor announced emergency legislation granting sanctuary to anyone who "looks like they might one day consider being undocumented." Newsom added: "ICE agents will be arrested on sight for triggering microaggressions."
SCHUMER AND PELOSI HOST DEPORTATION TELETHON
In a desperate bid, Schumer and Pelosi hosted a tearful telethon titled "Keep Our Illegals Home." Pelosi sobbed, "How will our donors survive without cheap housekeepers and landscapers?"
MAGA VICTORY: AMERICA FIRST, CHAOS LAST
As liberal tears flooded city streets, Trump declared victory: "We just made America a little bit greater tonight. Next up: Democrat mayors." The MAGA crowd roared while Democrats scrambled to register sanctuary pets as voters.
