Articles

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Trump Launches 'America Prays,' Media Demands Separation Of Knees And State
Trump invites weekly prayer for America’s 250th; pundits call folded hands a constitutional crisis. Read More.
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Chipocalypse Now: Chicago Braces For The Scent Of ‘Common Sense’
After a meme cameo as Robert Duvall, Trump says Chicago’s crime fix is simple: more Guard, fewer bullet points, and a fresh morning whiff of deportations — strictly “not war.” ​ Read More.
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Hegseth At Fort Benning Says “Don’t Mess With America”; Democrats Petition For Kinder, Gentler Scowls
At Fort Benning, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth told fresh OCS grads the Trump plan: rebuild strength, push decisions down, and make enemies think twice—then thrice. Democrats promptly formed a Committee on Non-Confrontational Frowns. Read More.
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Trump Cheers ‘Different’ RFK Jr. As Senate Performs Outrage Opera
After a brawling Finance Committee hearing, Trump praised HHS chief RFK Jr. for being “different”—sending Democrats into pearl-clutching overdrive. Read More.
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Trump Ends Venezuela TPS; Media Declares ‘Emergency Of Feelings’
DHS says Venezuela no longer meets TPS; Biden’s 2021/2023 grants sunset Sept. 10, then 60 days after the Federal Register—cue sirens and latte foam. Read More.
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Trump Vaporizes Cartel Canoe; Media Demands Life Jackets For Narcoterrorists
On Trump’s direct order, U.S. forces popped a drug-running panga in international waters, eliminating 11 Tren de Aragua terrorists—complete with a kaboom on video and a presidential “BEWARE!” for dessert. Read More.
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Trump Salutes Beijing’s Parade, Then Says: “Give My Regards To Your Little Conspiracy”
At Beijing’s 80th-anniversary parade, Xi posed with Putin and Kim. Trump replied with a Truth Social roast about American “blood,” victory, and—oh yes—“conspiring against the United States.” Read More.
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Trump Administration Considers Housing Emergency, Democrats Demand Free Unicorn Condos
Trump’s Treasury Secretary floats declaring a national housing emergency, while Democrats panic that cheaper homes might prevent them from converting America into a tent city utopia. Read More.
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Trump Slams Big Pharma: Show The Receipts Or Stop Preaching
Trump demands a definitive answer on COVID shots; Bernie warns him not to “backtrack,” while RFK Jr. cheers “Gold Standard Science.” Read More.
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Bernie Orders National Tantrum Over RFK Jr.: “Rally The American People… To My Op-Ed”
In Manchester, Bernie Sanders told Fox News Digital it’s time to “rally the American people” unless RFK Jr. quits as HHS secretary, after the CDC shake-up and a New York Times op-ed broadside. Read More.
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Trump Revokes Kamala Harris’ Secret Service, Replaces With Yelp Reviews
Kamala Harris just lost her taxpayer-funded bodyguards thanks to Trump, and now she’s about to launch a memoir tour with less backup than a Starbucks barista on Monday morning. Read More.
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Nvidia CEO Begs Trump To Let Him Sell Chips To China Like It’s A Communist Costco
Jensen Huang, the leather-jacket-loving Nvidia boss, insists America will “win the AI race” if Trump lets him hand chips to China like Halloween candy. Read More.
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Bill Gates Begs Trump To Fund Global Health While Trump Asks If Windows 95 Finally Works
Bill Gates thought he was pitching global health to Trump. Instead, he got schooled on America First — and possibly a side of Diet Coke. Read More.
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Europe’s Nuclear Babysitters Trigger “Time-Out” For Iran
The European “powerhouse trio” tries to flex global muscle by reimposing sanctions on Iran, proving once again that when America sneezes, Europe catches a cold—three years late. Read More.
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Trump Saves Los Angeles By Deporting 5,000 Criminal Aliens, Democrats Demand They Be Given Voting Rights Immediately
Trump’s border crackdown hits 5,000 arrests in Los Angeles, leaving Democrats panicked about losing their most reliable voting bloc: violent felons with fake IDs. Read More.
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