April 17, 2025 – Washington, D.C.
President Donald J. Trump has officially pulled the plug on U.S. funding for gain-of-function research—aka “let’s make a virus deadlier and hope it doesn’t escape the lab.”
Trump: “We’re Not Paying to Build the Next Plague”
With classic America First clarity, Trump announced the ban by reminding the nation,
“We don’t need our tax dollars making mutant germs. Let China handle the evil science fiction.”
The ban halts the dangerous, taxpayer-funded experiments that helped give birth to the COVID era—and made Anthony Fauci the highest-paid celebrity not on Netflix.
Media Meltdown: “But Who Will Create The Next Emergency?”
Liberal pundits immediately entered panic mode, warning this move could “leave us unprepared” for the very viruses they’d hoped to invent.
MSNBC warned of “science being silenced.” Translation: Trump is interfering with their crisis supply chain.
Dems Outraged: “Pandemic Engineering Is a Human Right!”
The usual suspects—Schumer, AOC, and every mask-hoarder from 2020—screamed “anti-science!” as if Trump had canceled gravity.
AOC tweeted,
“How dare he stop experiments that may or may not kill us all! This is fascism!”
Trump’s Logic: Maybe Don’t Build the Monster You’re Trying to Fight
Trump’s team summed it up perfectly:
“We don’t think giving viruses superpowers is a smart use of taxpayer money.”
Imagine that—ending the lab-leak lottery before we hit pandemic jackpot again.
Conclusion: Lab Closed. Sanity Restored.
While Democrats mourn the loss of their next fear campaign, Trump just removed the fuse from the next Wuhan time bomb.
MAGA wins. Virus loses. And the lab rats can rest easy.
