The Setup: AOC vs. Law and Order (Again)
In a shocking turn of events, Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez—known affectionately in socialist circles as "Comrade Instagram"—is reportedly under scrutiny for possibly obstructing actual immigration enforcement. Naturally, this means she’s just doing her job as a card-carrying member of the Do-Nothing-Democrat Club.
Enter Tom Homan: Border Security’s Chuck Norris
Former ICE director Tom Homan, also known as "The Chuck Norris of Border Security," is reportedly exploring legal action against AOC after she allegedly tried to protect illegal border-crossers like they were endangered hummingbirds. When asked for comment, Homan growled, and the microphone burst into flames.
AOC's Border Philosophy: Latte First, Law Never
Sources say AOC believes borders are a colonial construct invented by white men, capitalism, and probably Elon Musk. In a recent speech, she passionately defended "non-documented future voters," while sipping a $12 oat milk latte inside her tax-funded, security-protected office.
The Squad Strikes (Out) Again
Meanwhile, the rest of the Squad is said to be hiding under Bernie Sanders' beard until the media spins this as "brave resistance." Chuck Schumer was last seen Googling "How to pretend to care about border security" while Nancy Pelosi called it "a beautiful disruption of imperialist policy" from her Napa vineyard.
CCP Endorsement: “This Is Going Great!”
The CCP—always cheering from the sidelines—issued a statement praising AOC’s efforts to weaken America’s borders, saying, “It’s inspiring to watch America dismantle itself. We couldn’t have done it better ourselves.”
MAGA Response: It’s About Time
In the MAGA camp, patriots cheered the possibility that someone might actually face consequences for undermining U.S. sovereignty. Homan promised to “take it all the way,” likely meaning court, or possibly a WWE cage match. Either works.
Clinton Cameo: Who Invited Him?
Bill Clinton offered no comment, mostly because nobody asked him, and he was busy deleting emails for a “friend.”
Closing Note: Constitution, Activate!
Stay tuned, America. The showdown is just beginning—and this time, the Constitution might actually get used.
