Jeff Bezos’ former brainchild, Amazon.com, has made a stunningly brave decision to highlight the real villain of our times: not China, not globalism, not Joe Biden’s nap schedule — but tariffs. Yes, tariffs. Those nasty, America-first, Trumpian taxes that make the globalist elite cry into their kale smoothies.
Finally! Transparency… for America’s Sin of Wanting Jobs
Amazon will now show a special line item at checkout letting patriotic shoppers know exactly how much they’re being “punished” for the heinous crime of wanting American jobs, sovereignty, and — God forbid — factories in Ohio. Because when Grandpa Joe drools into his pudding cup while Beijing cashes billion-dollar checks, we all know who’s to blame: red-hatted Americans who love their country too much.
The Message? “Blame Trump, Not Xi.”
Forget that the tariffs were put in place to stop China from flooding our markets with cheap knockoffs, stolen tech, and toxic pet food. No, no — what you should be mad about is paying $1.93 more for your microwave. Not that the CCP runs concentration camps. Not that they own half of Hollywood. Not that Xi Jinping is basically Darth Vader with less personality. Nope. Tariffs. That's the outrage.
Bill Clinton Smiles Somewhere in a Penthouse
While Amazon shames you for voting like a free citizen, somewhere Slick Willie is toasting with a globalist think tank over what’s left of America’s manufacturing base. Meanwhile, AOC is livestreaming from a socialist teepee, Schumer is drafting a resolution to give TikTok voting rights, and Obama is writing another memoir called How I Spied On You But Still Deserve Netflix Deals.
Bezos’ Legacy: Globalism With One-Click Shipping
Now, when you buy American-made boots or attempt to stockpile ammo before the next ATF brainstorm, Amazon will gently remind you that the real villain isn’t communist China or the UN pushing gender-neutral soy rations — it’s you. And the tariff that’s been unfairly slapped on your God-fearing wallet.
In Conclusion: Let’s All Thank the Democrats for Making It Easier to Buy Our Own Collapse
Because nothing says “freedom” like blaming the consequences of trade wars on the people actually trying to protect our borders, jobs, and national identity. Bravo, Amazon. Bravo.
