Obama's Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free Card Courtesy Of SCOTUS
In a twist only 2024 could deliver, Trump claims Obama should thank him for a Supreme Court ruling that retroactively protected him from the prison time he so richly deserves. “He owes me BIG,” Trump declared, reportedly waiting by the mailbox for a thank-you card and maybe a Netflix gift subscription.
Deep State Drama: Obama’s Secret Spy Club Melts Under UV Light
According to the House Intelligence Committee, Obama directed agencies to whip up intelligence using the classic spy tactic known as "just make it sound Russian." One source revealed, “We didn't have proof, but we had vibes — and that’s basically the same thing.”
Bizarre Allegations? Or Tuesday At The White House?
Obama’s team dismissed the idea that he orchestrated Russiagate as “bizarre,” which is a bold claim from people who thought Hillary Clinton losing to a reality star required international sabotage. “We would never lie,” said an anonymous aide while shredding documents labeled “Operation Collusion Hoax.”
Trump: “You’re Welcome, Barack. Now Pay Up.”
As the immunity ruling shields Obama from legal fallout, Trump is demanding royalties. “I just saved your legacy, Barry — where’s my check?” he posted. Mar-a-Lago insiders say he’s also trademarking “Immunity Clause — Powered By Trump™.”
