The Treason Heard 'Round The Swamp
On live TV, DNI Tulsi Gabbard straight-up accused Obama of crafting a Benedict Arnold breakfast special — complete with scheming Cabinet cronies and “Get Trump” starter kits ordered off Amazon Prime Deep State.
Obama’s Oval Office: Now With Secret Passageways
Sources say the former president drafted plans to sabotage Trump while sipping organic chai, surrounded by a think tank of angry interns, Susan Rice, and a hologram of Saul Alinsky shouting “Yes We Can... Overthrow Elections!”
Quote Of The Century: “Oops, We Accidentally Committed Treason”
A fictional memo uncovered by “someone’s cousin’s roommate” allegedly reads:
“Operation Undermine: Step 1 — Pretend Russia’s the problem. Step 2 — Blame Trump for world hunger. Step 3 — Act shocked when caught.”
Media Reacts By Yawning Aggressively
CNN responded by calling it “a minor workplace dispute,” while Rachel Maddow suggested the real story is “Why Trump’s tie was red — was it blood?!” Meanwhile, MSNBC hired a psychic to confirm Obama’s innocence via crystal ball.
Trump 2024: Now With Treason-Proof Armor
In the end, Gabbard’s bombshell only proves one thing: Trump didn’t just beat Hillary — he beat a full-blown progressive Doomsday Machine in loafers. Next time, maybe Democrats will try voting instead of LARPing as Bond villains.
