In a truly heartwarming diplomatic moment, President Donald J. Trump took time out of his meeting with the Irish Prime Minister to personally thank Ireland for absorbing one of America's loudest exports—Rosie O’Donnell.
O’Donnell, who bravely fled to Ireland to escape the horrors of low inflation, border security, and record job growth, had barely unpacked her bags before Trump acknowledged her departure. When a reporter asked him about her move, Trump turned to the Irish leader and quipped, “You’re better off not knowing her.” Savage.
O’Donnell, known for her totally unbiased and thoughtful political insights (like calling Trump “literally Hitler” on repeat since 2016), claimed she moved for her "safety" and to escape the oppressive fascist regime that somehow still allows her to trash the President from across the Atlantic.
Meanwhile, Ireland has yet to issue an official statement on whether they actually want Rosie O’Donnell. Reports suggest that several Dublin pubs are bracing for an unprecedented spike in Guinness consumption as locals come to terms with their newest resident.
As for Trump? Another win. America is freer, Ireland is questioning its immigration policies, and Rosie’s dream of living in a Trump-free world remains just that—a dream.
