Horror! Tyranny! Consequences! President Donald J. Trump and his terrifyingly competent Director of National Intelligence, Tulsi Gabbard, have just committed the most unforgivable sin in Washington: punishing deep state operatives for lying.
That’s right—Trump’s America is now a dystopian wasteland where former Biden officials like Antony Blinken and Jake Sullivan can’t peddle election-year disinformation and still keep their security clearances. What’s next? Making them pay for their own avocado toast?
These 51 noble patriots—who bravely misled the public about Hunter Biden’s laptop to protect democracy from democracy—are now reaping the unimaginable consequence of not having unrestricted access to classified information. How will they survive?! CNN is already reporting a nationwide shortage of fainting couches.
In response to the news, Jake Sullivan reportedly curled into the fetal position, whispering, “But I thought we were the government.” Meanwhile, Adam Schiff tearfully reminded Americans that lying to the public is a sacred tradition and should be rewarded, not punished.
Liberals are calling this move a dangerous precedent: if government officials can’t use national security as a shield for political cover-ups, who’s safe next?
Stay tuned—because if Trump keeps enforcing rules, the deep state may have to start applying for real jobs.
