Articles

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Biden Butterflies: The Unexpected Debate Distraction
In a move that has both baffled and amused the American public, President Joe Biden brought a colorful and lively twist to the latest presidential debate: a butterfly. What started as a serious policy discussion quickly turned into an unexpected nature documentary, leaving political analysts, viewers, and his opponent in utter disbelief. Read More.
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The Real Winner of the 2020 Election Was...Mr. Peanut?!
Look, we all know the 2020 presidential election was a shambolic mess riddled with non-sensical "results." But even the most unhinged MAGA patriot probably didn't see this conspiracy theory coming: Read More.
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Biden Declares He’ll Do “Anything” to Win Election, Including Dubiously Legal Tactics
In an astonishing turn of events, President Joe Biden has announced that he is willing to do "anything" to win the upcoming election, even if it means skirting the edges of legality. At a recent press conference, Biden's remarks left the room buzzing with a mix of disbelief and dark amusement. Read More.
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University Expels Student for Unauthorized Free Speech Violation
May 22, 2024 — In a bold move to maintain the harmonious echo chamber of collegiate discourse, Upper Crust University (UCU) has expelled sophomore Jason Freewell from its residence halls for the grievous crime of uttering an unauthorized opinion. Read More.
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U.S. Government Now Offers Personalized Indictments as Unique Birthday Gifts
In a surprising turn of events, the U.S. government has announced a novel initiative to celebrate American birthdays: personalized indictments for fake crimes. This innovative approach, inspired by the lackluster enthusiasm for traditional gifts, promises to make each birthday a memorable legal adventure. Read More.
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Rudy Giuliani served with Arizona ‘fake electors’ indictment during 80th birthday bash in Palm Beach
Giuliani was the last of the 18 defendants in the case to be served, Arizona officials said. Read More.
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President Biden's Newest Challenge: Navigating the White House Maze
In an unexpected twist of presidential duties, President Joe Biden has embarked on a unique quest: mastering the labyrinthine corridors of the White House while grappling with the challenges of what some observers humorously term "presidential forgetfulness."  Read More.
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Biden's Bold Immigration Strategy: Only Accepting Felonious Undocumented Immigrants
In a surprising turn of events, President Joe Biden unveiled a groundbreaking immigration policy that has left both his supporters and critics scratching their heads. In a recent press conference, Biden declared that the United States would welcome undocumented immigrants with open arms—on one condition: they must have a criminal record. Read More.
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