In a bold move that definitely wasn’t just clicking “Block User” on the entire Caribbean, the U.S. government unveiled its newest foreign-policy initiative: the Complete Naval Blockade and Emotional Support Hotline for Sanctioned Heads of State. Read More.
In a stunning détente, conservative icons Candace Owens and Erika Kirk declare peace summit “productive,” proving even civil wars need PR teams. Read More.
A patriotic student paints a tribute, the school panics, and suddenly the FBI is invited to judge rock art — proving spirit truly comes before common sense. Read More.
In a historic diplomatic breakthrough, the U.S. insists Mexico settle its “water IOU,” proving trade wars are now judged by river flow charts, not economics. Read More.
Canadian Liberals shock the world (and conservative Twitter) by nearly winning a majority — thanks to defections from conservative lawmakers who really want unity. Read More.
New academic standards prioritize emotional resonance over measurable learning, allowing students to pass classes by simply sensing the answer. Read More.
In an effort to promote “healthy nationalism management,” the administration launches a list targeting citizens who display suspicious levels of love for America. Read More.
Brussels screeches over U.S. plan to regulate media giants — apparently global elites never imagined their binge-watching fiefdom might be taxed. Read More.
