Articles

Liberal and tolerant Public Health™ experts seem to have finally sussed out, based on hard clinical research, the true sources of LGBTQ+++™ youth suicidality. Read More.

While 87 percent of students said that college is “too difficult,” the same percentage are studying less than 10 hours per week, a new survey found. Read More.

God released a press statement on Monday after watching a children’s drag show in Portland, Oregon. “In my omniscient opinion, humanity is not yet ready for the second coming of my son, Jesus Christ.” The Lord Almighty condemned the practice of sexualizing children in the name of “social equity” and “tolerance”. Read More.

Happy Thursday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Lillian is currently undergoing therapy to deal with her long-held belief that all helicopters have spy tech that enables pilots to see her in the shower. Read More.

A record number of college students reported fear of sharing an opinion in the classroom that might differ from their peers, according to the William F. Buckley, Jr. Program’s eighth annual survey. Read More.

Hunter Biden’s crack pipe made headlines this morning when it officially filed for a restraining order against the President’s estranged son. Read More.

Who needs the Babylon Bee when we have the Washington Post? Read More.

Harvard University’s Agassiz Theater this week debuted a “heretical gay” biblical-based musical about Judas falling in love with Jesus Christ. Read More.

Great news for inclusivity! Saturday Day Night Live showrunner Lorne Michaels announced Tuesday morning that he just hired a new openly pedophilic cast member to host the popular Weekend Update segment. Read More.

It is “plausible” that there is a moral case for letting meat eaters drown, according to an Oxford University philosopher. Read More.

In a National Terrorism Advisory System Bulletin issued on Wednesday, the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) announced portentously that “the United States remains in a heightened threat environment.” Read More.

The news came from Twitter CEO Elon Musk late Friday afternoon that Hunter Biden’s laptop story was not a Russian disinformation campaign, and that the laptop did, indeed, contain icky details on the President’s son. Read More.

Retired Canadian Army Corporal and former Paralympian Christine Gauthier is restricted to a wheelchair after surviving an accident when she was in the service. Read More.

Kansas State University became the first institution of higher learning in that state to join the American Association of Colleges and Universities’ “Truth, Racial Healing and Transformation” program. Read More.

I just hung my queen against Chipper the monkey, and now I want to destroy all artificial intelligence in the known universe. Chipper was laughing at me as he won his fourth consecutive game against me, and I swear he said he’s going to tell all of his friends how bad I am when he gets back to the Cincinnati Zoo. Read More.