TRUMP STARTS WITH A BANG
In Anchorage, Trump warned Putin that consequences were coming—possibly as severe as making him watch The View on loop.
DEMS LEAP TO MISSILE DEFENSE
AOC called Trump’s words “reckless missile-shaming” and suggested replacing bombs with “conflict-safe biodegradable balloons.”
MEDIA MELTDOWN MODE
CNN ran 47 straight hours of “experts” explaining why consequences are a “hate crime against geopolitics.”
PUTIN’S POLITE SHRUG
Sources say Putin nodded, sipped tea, and asked if “very severe” meant “like Hillary losing in 2016 severe.”
MAGA MIC DROP
Trump closed by promising America would be “respected again”—or at least feared by any nation not currently run by Joy Behar.
