Washington, DC - In preparation for next week’s State of the Union address, the White House announced that they’re going a different direction in an attempt to get Biden to speak all the way through the speech in front of both chambers of Congress. The speech, scheduled for February 7th, is typically given off a teleprompter to keep the President on message throughout the night.
However, the White House specified that they’ll be utilizing a staffer from the President’s office, who will whisper every sentence into Biden’s ear as he’s speaking in front of the nation. “At first we were going to use a buzzer that would zap the President every time he trailed off, but early focus testing showed us that it would just scare the President,” said a staffer in charge of keeping Biden on task and focused throughout his day.
“So instead we’re just going to have a guy stand right next to the President and whisper every word into his ear so he doesn’t trail off and talk about his early days in Scranton,” continued the staffer. The bold move by the White House could prove vital, as the President usually highlights some key figures in the audience during the State of the Union.
“Without our elegant system in place, it’s likely that Biden could accidentally start WWIII… or he could just nod off and take a nap in front of all of America.”
