INTRODUCING THE UNHOLY ALLIANCE
President Trump stunned the world by announcing he agrees with Senator Elizabeth “I-Have-A-Plan” Warren. Yes, really. “I agree with Senator Warren,” Trump wrote on Truth Social, prompting MAGA patriots to briefly short-circuit. The skies darkened, Nancy Pelosi reportedly fainted into a pile of soy-based confetti.
THE DEBT CEILING IS NOW CANCELLED
Both Trump and Warren called for scrapping the debt limit — Trump to save the economy, Warren to save billionaires from paying only 97% of their income. “Let’s cancel this thing before Joe Biden tries to Venmo Ukraine another trillion,” Trump added.
MOCK QUOTES FOR MAXIMUM HILARITY
Warren responded: “Donald and I are now fiscal soulmates. Next, we’ll start a podcast — ‘Debt-Free and Deplorable.’” CNN analysts immediately declared this the “end of nuance” while MSNBC changed its logo to a crying emoji.
EXTREME UNITY PANIC BUTTON
Panicked Democrats demanded a safe space from bipartisanship. Gavin Newsom proposed a bill outlawing unexpected political agreements. AOC tweeted: “Wait... is unity now fascism?!”
TRUMP SAVES ECONOMY, AGAIN
Trump closed with: “Only I can make the debt disappear — like Hillary’s emails, only better.” MAGA hats flew off shelves as America braced for another beautiful, debt-free, Warren-approved Trump term.
