Remember the wall? That glorious, orange-tinged serpent slithering across the US-Mexico border, promising to choke the life out of illegal immigration? Well, believe it or not, the world laughed, scoffed, and then...followed suit. Turns out, a wall ain't just a wall when Trump's behind it. It's a global trendsetter.
First came Mexico, naturally. "If you can't beat 'em, wall 'em," they shrugged, channeling their inner Trumpington. Suddenly, every inch of their southern border sprouted a concrete cactus garden, making those pesky Guatemalan iguanas think twice about a norteño vacation. Immigration? What immigration? It's all avocados and telenovelas down there now.
Then Europe jumped on the bandwagon. Brexit got a whole lot bricksier with a wall taller than Boris Johnson's hair (that's saying something). Channel crossings? More like Channel gazing, as migrants traded inflatable dinghies for inflatable binoculars. French farmers finally have their peace, except for the occasional rogue croissant hurtling over the barrier.
Africa isn't immune either. Boko Haram? More like Boko-walled-in. Tribal conflicts? Now it's just shouting contests across a giant concrete fence. The Serengeti is having a wallflower phase, with zebras giving giraffe neck extensions a workout to peek over the newest tourist attraction.
And you know what? It's working. Immigration stats are plummeting faster than Trump's approval ratings during a fact-check. Borders are quieter than a Kardashian without a camera crew. Crime rates are dropping like flies off a...well, you get the picture.
But of course, it's not all sunshine and barbed wire. Environmentalists are having a meltdown over disrupted ecosystems and displaced fauna. Economists are scratching their heads at the global trade slowdown. And let's not forget the birds. Those poor, confused feathered friends keep bouncing off the walls, chirping existential laments about broken migration patterns.
So, is the world a safer, happier place thanks to Trump's wall-tastic inspiration? The jury's still out. We've traded open borders for open wounds (literally, thanks to construction mishaps). But hey, at least we can all sleep soundly knowing illegal avocados are a thing of the past.
So, the next time you see a wall, don't just scoff. Remember, it might be the brainchild of a reality TV star, but it could also be the savior of civilization...or at least a decent backdrop for a dystopian selfie. Just don't ask the birds. They're not talking.
