Wilmington, DE - Investigators for the FBI were confused when they heard barking coming from the backyard of the Biden family home on Thursday afternoon. When they rounded the corner, they saw Joe Biden’s dog, a German Shepherd named Major, and followed the frantically barking canine to a deep well at the back of the property.
“What’s that boy? The President is hiding classified documents in the well?! We gotta go quick, lead us there boy!” said an investigator to Major as the dog took off towards the well. “I think he’s onto something, look - he’s trying to tell us that the President isn’t above the law and should be held to a higher standard than the average citizen.”
When they had fished out the classified documents from the bottom of the well, FBI investigators were shocked to discover a manilla envelope with the words “Top Secret - Don’t Store in a well on the Biden family estate” printed across the top.
After turning the documents over to the Department of Justice, the FBI officially recognized Major as a “Very, very good boy” and awarded him the golden fire hydrant. Major was quick to point out that he had exclusive property rights over the golden fire hydrant, and that other “good boys” should take notice of his government award.
