Police in Manlius, New York have revealed that one of the town's beloved swans, Faye, was killed and eaten by a group of teens over the Memorial Day long weekend who claimed they had simply been "hunting." The swan's young were also reported missing, but were eventually tracked down and recovered unharmed.
The teens, refugees from Myanmar, have since been criminally charged with grand larceny, criminal mischief, conspiracy, and criminal trespassing, and may face additional punishments from the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation.
The three teens allegedly climbed over the fence surrounding the Manlius Swan Pond sometime between midnight and 3 am on May 28 before approaching Faye and killing her. She had been nesting at the time, and did not put up much of a fight.
"They did ultimately consume the swan," Manlius Police Sergeant Ken Hatter said during a press conference, "but I don't know if that was more cultural beliefs or not. They didn’t really get into that. We didn't ask specifically … but it did occur."
He went on to explain that the teens told authorities they believed the swan was simply "a very large duck," adding that one of the teens had a hunting license and that, "they did not know that it was not a wild animal, that is was actually owned by the Village of Manlius."
This content is a work of satire and parody. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Any opinions expressed in this content do not reflect the views of the author or publisher. In fact, they probably reflect the opposite of the views of the author or publisher. The purpose of this content is to entertain and possibly make you question the reality of the world around you. So please, don't take anything too seriously, unless it's the importance of a good laugh.