NYC, New York - Great news for inclusivity! Saturday Night Live showrunner Lorne Michaels announced Tuesday morning that he just hired a new openly pedophilic cast member to host the popular Weekend Update segment.
“This new guy - um, person - is going to bring a fresh perspective to the show,” said Michaels in a press release announcing the new cast member. “You can expect to see stories like ‘Why we should build more hotels next to elementary schools’ and ‘Ten tips for finding your special someone under the age of 16’”.
Current cast members welcomed their new colleague with open arms, indicating that the addition of fresh blood to the show could usher in a new era for SNL. “Maybe we’ll do a sketch about child groomers and their valuable contributions to society,” one cast member was heard saying about the openly pedophilic nonbinary person. “It’s really a great thing to finally see representation for this marginalized group”.
