Houston, TX - NASA mission control reluctantly reported that they had made a startling discovery after the Artemis I rocket orbited the moon earlier this week. “We regret to inform the American public that the alt-right was correct, but they had the wrong location for the Pizzagate scandal,” said a NASA Mission Control Crew Chief.
“The real location of Pizzagate… was on the dark side of the moon,” continued the Chief. “We have reason to believe that a portal was opened up in the original pizza location in Washington, DC, and that it was able to transport victims to the moon base.”
“We are sending a scout team of scientists to study the dark magic associated with the portal, and we will report our findings to the White House and the Pentagon,” the Crew Chief said at the end of his press conference.
