Moderna announces injection to repair heart muscle that is totally unrelated to heart complications from vaccines

Cambridge, MA - Speaking with SkyNews Australia, Moderna CEO Stéphane Bancel revealed the pharmaceutical company’s newest treatment for heart attacks: another mRNA injection. Mr. Bancel reiterated that the newest injection, which will be jabbed directly into the heart, has nothing to do with the numerous documented cases of heart complications stemming from the Moderna Covid-19 vaccine. 

“We have now in the clinic a super exciting program where we inject mRNA in people’s hearts,” said the CEO while holding a flashlight under his chin to make himself appear more sinister. Moderna’s CEO was heard whispering, “their hearts, the precious hearts will be ours” before he left the interview with SkyNews Australia. 

The news comes on the heels of a recommendation from Florida’s Surgeon General that people should refrain from getting the vaccine due to an 84% spike in cardiac-related deaths following injections.


 
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red heart by Alexandru Acea is licensed under Unsplash unsplash.com
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