Undisclosed location, WV - “You think you’re better’n me, Fauci?” said one restaurant owner who fled his beloved restaurant in Connecticut after pandemic protocols shut his business down. “We’ll see who really deserves this’n so-called ‘pandemic amnesty’, boy”. Dr. Fauci, a strong proponent of the lockdown policies that crippled the American economy, was seen nervously glancing towards the door during the tense meeting with small business owners.
“Look guys, we didn’t know the science yet,” said Dr. Fauci, who just so happened to be the highest paid member of the federal government. “We thought we had to keep your businesses closed to save the lives of Americans who were never at risk of dying.”
Dawning a wrestling singlet, the same restaurant owner was seen aggressively stretching as he eyed his opponent, Dr. Fauci, on the other side of the ring. “My aunt died of ‘sudden death syndrome’ and now I’m gonna show you the true meaning of ‘Fauci ouchie’,” the same man said as he approached the director of the NIAID. Dr. Fauci could not be reached for further comment following the wrestling match.
