New York City, NY - A local hooligan, who has requested to remain anonymous, told this reporter on Thursday that they hope Kathy Hochul remains Governor of New York because, “[expletive]’s been popping,” ever since Hochul took office. “Yea man, I can do literally anything I want and I always get away with it,” continued the criminal as he wrestled a purse away from an old lady.
Hochul, appearing in her recent debate with GOP candidate Lee Zeldin, said that, “everything’s fine” with New York’s rising crime rates. “Look people, I don’t care if everyone in New York City is murdered, as long as we continue to promote the virtues of equity and inclusivity.”
The same criminal, who was holding a bottle of liquor in one hand and a hammer in the other, said that Lee Zeldin would be bad news for people like him. “I’ll vote for whichever candidate will allow me to continue to rob liquor stores with impunity,” continued the criminal. The upcoming Governor’s election will be on November 8th, next Tuesday.
