Washington, DC - Kamala Harris was excited throughout her “Know your food” press conference in front of the White House press corps on Monday. She proudly held up a jar of Jiff peanut butter and declared, “Behold! We are already eating the bugs!” The press corps politely clapped and nodded their approval as the Vice President held her peanut butter aloft.
Harris continued, “You’ve heard the stories from Fox News that say we’re going to force you to eat bugs. While that’s true, I’m here to inform you that we’ve been eating bugs this whole time, and we’re better for it.” Kamala went on to say that, since the FDA allows a small percentage of bugs to be in peanut butter at the production stage, America has been consuming bugs this whole time.
“I’m proud to say that the Biden administration is going to encourage the FDA to increase the amount of bugs allowed in peanut butter, and we’re expanding the program to include frozen pizzas and sushi!” An elated press corps was buzzing with excitement following the announcement.
