In a shocking revelation that has captivated the nation (or at least the portion of it that finds fast food employment a critical qualification for the presidency), Vice President Kamala Harris has claimed she once toiled beneath the golden arches of McDonald’s. Yes, you heard that right. Our Vice President—whose career trajectory includes being a prosecutor, attorney general, and U.S. Senator—allegedly spent her formative years mastering the art of the perfect French fry. Or did she?
In a recent interview, Harris fondly reminisced about her days in the fast-food trenches, a job that, oddly enough, never made it into her public narrative until she ran for president. Perhaps she simply forgot to mention it in her lengthy resume, squeezed somewhere between her achievements in criminal justice reform and her time as California’s top cop. After all, who wouldn’t forget the life-altering experience of sweating over a fryer, dodging scalding oil, and deciphering the secret of the Big Mac sauce?
Let’s take a moment to imagine a young Kamala Harris, clad in a polyester uniform, slinging burgers and shaking the salt shaker with the same precision she now uses to navigate international diplomacy. One has to wonder: Was it the relentless rush of the lunchtime crowd that honed her quick thinking? Did dealing with hangry customers prepare her for the debates? And most importantly, did she perfect the art of the drive-thru smile, that elusive expression of patience and urgency all at once?
Of course, this narrative raises more questions than it answers. For instance, why did this important chapter of her life only surface when she sought the highest office in the land? Could it be that this humble, relatable experience was simply too modest to mention during her years in the political limelight? Or, in true political fashion, is it possible that the golden arches story is just that—a story?
Let’s not forget, the road to the White House is paved with anecdotes designed to connect candidates with the average voter. Some wax poetic about their time in the military or their days as a community organizer. Others, apparently, dig deep into the past to recall their days flipping burgers. It’s all part of the great American tradition of myth-making, where a politician’s past becomes as carefully curated as their social media presence.
In any case, whether Harris really did don the McDonald’s visor or not, the timing of this revelation is as curious as it is convenient. Perhaps next she’ll share tales of her days as a lifeguard, a paperboy, or even as the Tooth Fairy. After all, in the world of politics, the line between fact and fiction is often as blurred as the view from behind the counter during the dinner rush.
So, while we may never know if Kamala Harris truly experienced the thrill of working the fry station, one thing is certain: when it comes to crafting a narrative, our politicians know exactly which buttons to press—whether it’s on the cash register or in the hearts of voters.
