In a shocking revelation that has sent shockwaves through the political world, Vice President Kamala Harris has reportedly confessed her deep-seated fear of debating former President Donald Trump. Sources close to Harris say the Vice President is losing sleep over the prospect of facing off against the real estate mogul turned politician, but not for the reasons you might think.
"I’m terrified," Harris allegedly confided to a close aide. "What if he says something totally off-the-wall? What if his hair does that thing where it defies gravity? I just don't know if I'm prepared for that level of unpredictability."
The Vice President’s concerns don't stop at Trump's unique style. Insiders claim Harris has been practicing her signature laugh in front of a mirror, hoping it will be enough to disarm the former President's trademark bravado. "She's worried that no matter what she says, Trump will just hit back with something totally outrageous, and then what? How do you even respond to that?" said one anonymous source.
Harris's unease has reportedly led to an emergency meeting of her closest advisors, who have been brainstorming ways to prepare her for the onslaught. "We're considering everything from stand-up comedy lessons to lessons in counteracting bad hair days," revealed a senior staffer. "Kamala needs to be ready for anything—and I mean anything."
One proposed strategy involves Harris wearing earplugs during the debate, so she won't be distracted by Trump's booming voice or his tendency to go off-script. Another idea floated was to have a teleprompter feed her quick comebacks like, "That's not true," or, "You can't be serious," whenever Trump launches into one of his infamous tirades.
Despite the apparent panic within the Harris camp, the Vice President is said to be determined to overcome her fear. "She's been watching tapes of Trump's previous debates on loop," a source claimed. "Every time he says something outrageous, she pauses the video and practices her reaction. It’s been a bit like training a cat to fetch—progress is slow, but it's there."
In public, however, Harris is putting on a brave face. "I’m ready for anything," she told reporters with a forced smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. "I’ve debated some tough opponents before, but none quite like this. I’m just hoping I can keep a straight face."
As the nation waits with bated breath for what promises to be the most entertaining debate in modern history, one thing is certain: Kamala Harris may be afraid of Donald Trump, but she’s willing to face her fears—one unpredictable hair day at a time.
