Washington, D.C. – In a historic turn of events, First Lady Jill Biden heaped unprecedented praise on President Joe Biden today for delivering an entire speech without falling asleep. This remarkable feat has sent ripples of astonishment and admiration through the political landscape.
“It was truly inspiring,” Jill Biden stated, eyes glistening with pride. “Joe stood there, from start to finish, awake and alert. It was like watching the old days when he could power through a 15-minute address without a single nod or yawn.”
The speech, which lasted a full 25 minutes, was delivered at a garden party in the White House Rose Garden. With a solid mixture of anecdotes, policy highlights, and a touch of humor, Joe Biden managed to keep not only himself but also the audience engaged throughout the entire duration.
“I knew he had it in him,” said Jill, recounting the rigorous training regimen the President underwent in preparation. “Every night, we’d practice. I’d read him bedtime stories and he’d try to stay awake. Sometimes he’d drift off, but slowly, he built up his stamina.”
Political analysts were quick to weigh in on the event. “This could be a game-changer,” said one commentator. “If Biden can stay awake for entire speeches, who knows what else he’s capable of? Maybe he’ll even manage a debate without a nap.”
The President’s performance has also sparked a wave of support from within his own party. Vice President Kamala Harris tweeted, “Way to go, Joe! #AwakeAndAwesome.” Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer added, “Proud of you, Mr. President. Keep up the good work!”
However, not everyone was impressed. Critics on the other side of the aisle were quick to downplay the accomplishment. “Big deal,” said one senator. “I stay awake through entire meetings all the time, and you don’t see anyone throwing me a parade.”
Nevertheless, Jill Biden remains undeterred by the naysayers. “I believe in celebrating every victory, big or small,” she said. “Joe staying awake for a whole speech is just the beginning. Next, we’re aiming for him to remember the names of at least three foreign leaders in a row.”
As the nation watches with bated breath, one thing is clear: the Biden household is ready to take on the world, one fully-conscious speech at a time.
