Switzerland - After flying in to an Earth Day conference on a fleet of private jets, the world’s mega millionaires came together to put out a public service announcement that reminds everyday Americans to give up their basic necessities in order to save the planet.
Speaking with a cigar in his hand and using a baby seal as a chair, Jeff Bezos was keen to remind Americans that “we are all in this together, and if you don’t do your part by exclusively eating bugs this year, then we may not have a planet by 2550.”
Mark Zuckerberg was also in attendance, and he gave an impassioned speech about how we can all reduce our carbon footprint by living our lives entirely on the metaverse and never stepping outside again. “If we all just converted our lives to literally living online, I’m sure it wouldn’t end up in a Wall-E type apocalyptic doomsday scenario where humanity is enslaved by robots and we’re all too overweight to do anything about it,” said Zuckerberg.
“In summation, eat the bugs, don’t own personal property, and CERTAINLY don’t travel for the rest of your lives and we’ll surely make it out of this together,” said Bezos in a closing statement to attendees of the retreat. “Oh, and make sure to order the new season of The Lord of the Rings via the Metaverse.”
