In a stunning display of climate activism ingenuity, 19-year-old environmental guru Greta Thunberg has unveiled her latest plan to combat climate change: powering the ever-expanding Metaverse entirely by her own physical energy.
"The greedy corporations stuffing the Metaverse with endless digital trinkets simply haven't considered the potential of human hamsters," declared Thunberg, her pigtails bouncing with righteous fury. "I, for one, am tired of staring at pixelated sunsets while coal plants devour the Earth. It's time to put some pedal to the pixel!"
Thunberg has partnered with Elon Musk's Boring Company to construct a custom, biomechanically-powered server farm beneath Tesla headquarters. Her specially-designed hamster wheel, dubbed the "Green Machine," will capture Thunberg's kinetic energy as she runs, converting it into electricity to fuel the virtual reality playground.
"Let the Zuckerbergs and Bezoses of the world tremble!" Thunberg roared, brandishing a solar-powered megaphone."Their Metaverse may be filled with NFTs and flying cat avatars, but mine will be fueled by sweat, tears, and the raw passion of a teenager on a mission!"
Early beta testers of Thunberg's "Gretaverse" report a unique digital experience. "The landscape constantly blurs as Greta sprints by, powering our pixelated paradise," remarked one bewildered explorer. "You can practically smell the vegan protein bars!"
Others are less enthusiastic. "I'm all for green energy," grumbled a pixelated avatar sporting a Gucci virtual handbag, "but wouldn't solar panels be, like, way easier?"
Undeterred by criticisms, Thunberg has already begun training for her epic running marathon. "I've been practicing on a hamster wheel made of recycled wind turbine blades," she explained, taking a swig of kombucha. "The scenery may be less exciting than those fancy VR headsets, but hey, at least I can see the real sunset for once!"
Only time will tell if Thunberg's ambitious plan can truly power the Metaverse or if it will ultimately collapse in a sweaty heap of existential angst. But one thing is certain: this teenager is not afraid to put her money where her mouth is, even if that means putting her feet on a giant hamster wheel in the basement of Elon Musk's house.
