Washington, DC - Following a report from the American College of Cardiology released last week, it was proven that patients who received the Moderna covid-19 vaccine were at a three times higher risk of developing myocarditis than those who took the Pfizer BioNTech Covid vaccine.
“I’m thrilled that I only have a slight chance of developing a completely preventable heart complication,” said a mother of three who wished to remain anonymous. “Biden and Dr. Fauci told me to get the vaccines when I was pregnant, and because I trust the government, I did so,” she continued in her interview with MSNBC.
Of course, the news that Pfizer only has a moderately lower risk of myocarditis doesn’t help the thousands of Americans who have fallen to the plague of “Sudden Death Syndrome”. The risk of myocarditis among unvaccinated Americans remains extremely low, but of course that has nothing to do with their vaxxed status and everything to do with random circumstances.
