President Joe Biden is facing his greatest challenge yet: Friday the 13th.
The superstitious president has been known to avoid black cats, walking under ladders, and breaking mirrors. But on Friday the 13th, all of his worst fears come to life.
In the past, Biden has spent Friday the 13ths hiding in the Oval Office, surrounded by lucky charms and four-leaf clovers. But this year, he has decided to face his fears head-on.
"I'm not going to let some silly superstition keep me from doing my job," Biden said in a statement. "I'm the president of the United States, and I have a country to run."
But even Biden's closest advisors are worried about him.
"The president is a very superstitious man," said one advisor. "He's convinced that something bad is going to happen to him every Friday the 13th."
Another advisor said that Biden has been having nightmares about Jason Voorhees, the iconic villain from the Friday the 13th movies.
"The president dreams that Jason is chasing him all over the White House," the advisor said. "He wakes up in a cold sweat every time."
Despite his fears, Biden is determined to have a normal Friday the 13th. He has scheduled a full day of meetings and events, including a speech at a local school.
But some people are skeptical that Biden will be able to make it through the day unscathed.
"I'm not sure it's a wise idea for the president to be out and about on Friday the 13th," said one security expert. "There are a lot of crazies out there."
Only time will tell if Biden can survive Friday the 13th. But one thing's for sure: it's going to be a long and stressful day for the president.
In the meantime, here are some tips for Biden to help him stay safe on Friday the 13th:
- Keep black cats around you.
- Walk under ladders.
- Break any mirrors you see.
- Hockey masks are your friend.
- And most importantly, say "Candyman" five times in front of a mirror every time you see one.
Good luck, Mr. President!
