The section of drywall, which we’re keeping anonymous to protect their identity, stated that Rep. Crenshaw showed “no remorse” for repeatedly punching the drywall on Friday night after votes decided Crenshaw would not Chair the Homeland Security Committee.
“His eyes were red with rage,” said the section of drywall, who was admitted to a nearby hospital and has been cleared of any serious injuries. “It was like he didn’t even know me, but he’s seen me everyday for years on his way in/out of his office.” Lawyers for the drywall said that they had no further comment regarding the ongoing legal battle, but that their client will receive “just treatment” in a court soon.
Wrapped in a comfort blanket, the drywall could be heard saying, “[Crenshaw] was like a madman, he threw his Monster energy drink before he unleashed his rage on me.”
