Wilmington, DE - The FBI recently made a startling discovery in the trove of classified documents being kept in an unsecure location in the Biden family garage. “After a careful search of the President’s estate, it appears that he was holding out on us: we found an unreleased version of the Minions 3D director’s cut, and it should’ve been nominated for an Academy Award,” said the FBI agent in charge of searching Biden's residence.
“I mean, we get a whole backstory for the minions on the 5 hour director’s cut of the film,” continued the agent while his coworkers diligently sifted through the trove of documents at the Biden home. “This is the breakthrough we’ve been looking for, I can’t believe that among all of the classified documents that Biden illegally hid, one of them was a treasure beyond our comprehension.”
The President could not be reached for further comment after he made his initial statements regarding the raid of his family garage. “They were in my garage under lock and key” was the only statement offered by Biden to dismiss the thousands of classified materials that could damage national security and lead to an investigation of the President.
