In a shocking turn of events, a local man has discovered that his wife has been slowly replacing his clothes with gender-neutral garments. The man, who has asked to remain anonymous, said he first noticed the change when he went to put on his favorite pair of jeans for work and found that they had been replaced with a pair of beige cargo pants.
"I thought it was just a weird coincidence," the man said. "But then I started to notice other things. My favorite flannel shirt was gone, replaced with a plain white tee. My old sneakers were gone, replaced with a pair of Birkenstocks. And my favorite baseball cap was gone, replaced with a beanie."
The man said he confronted his wife about the changes, but she just laughed it off. "She said I was being too sensitive," he said. "She said that I should be more open-minded and that gender is just a social construct."
The man said he's not sure what to do. "I mean, I love my wife," he said. "But I also love my clothes. And I don't want to end up looking like a member of the cast of Queer Eye."
In other news:
- Local barista refuses to serve customer who orders a "Skinny Latte"
- Man tries to return a used mattress to the store, claiming it's "too comfortable"
- Woman gets stuck in a revolving door for three hours after trying to push instead of pull
And finally, remember:
- If you see something, say something.
- Trust your gut.
- Always wear clean underwear.
