BREAKING NEWS: Biden Forgets How to Vote, Declares Himself King of America

In a bizarre turn of events, President Joe Biden, known for his occasional gaffes, has reportedly forgotten how to cast his vote in the upcoming elections. Instead of seeking assistance or consulting the Constitution, Biden took an unprecedented step by declaring himself the rightful ruler of the United States — the King of America.

The confusion unfolded during a routine visit to his local polling station in Delaware. Witnesses reported that Biden approached the voting booth with an air of determination, only to stare blankly at the ballot as if it were an ancient relic from a bygone era. After several minutes of perplexed silence, he allegedly turned to the election officials and uttered the now-infamous words, "I hereby decree myself the sovereign monarch of this great nation."

The announcement sent shockwaves through the political establishment, with pundits scrambling to make sense of Biden's impromptu coronation. Some speculated that it was a cunning strategy to circumvent the complexities of democracy, while others dismissed it as another senior moment from the president's ever-expanding collection.

In a hastily convened press conference, White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki attempted to downplay the incident, insisting that Biden's proclamation was merely a "lighthearted jest" and not to be taken seriously. However, her assurances did little to quell the rising tide of confusion and amusement sweeping across the country.

Social media platforms were ablaze with memes and mockery, with hashtags such as #KingBiden and #ElectionFail trending worldwide. Memes depicting Biden adorned in royal regalia and sitting upon a makeshift throne flooded the internet, as netizens seized the opportunity to poke fun at the latest installment in the ongoing saga of Bidenisms.

Meanwhile, opposition leaders wasted no time in seizing upon Biden's momentary lapse in judgment as evidence of his unsuitability for office. Republican lawmakers issued scathing rebukes, accusing the president of disrespecting the democratic process and undermining the foundations of American governance.

Amidst the chaos, legal scholars scrambled to ascertain the constitutional implications of Biden's self-appointed monarchy. While most agreed that the notion was preposterous, a few fringe theorists argued that it could technically be interpreted as a legitimate exercise of executive authority — albeit an exceedingly ill-advised one.

As the dust settled and the furor began to subside, one question remained: would Biden relinquish his newfound title and return to the business of governing, or would he stubbornly cling to his throne like a modern-day King Lear? Only time would tell, but one thing was certain — the King of America had certainly made his mark on history, however inadvertently.

In the end, perhaps it was fitting that the man who had spent decades navigating the labyrinthine corridors of power should find himself momentarily lost in the maze of democracy. After all, in the theater of American politics, stranger things had certainly happened — though rarely with such comedic flair. As the nation braced itself for the next chapter in the Biden saga, one thing was abundantly clear: in the land of the free and the home of the brave, anything was possible — even a king who forgot how to vote.
This content is a work of satire and parody. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Any opinions expressed in this content do not reflect the views of the author or publisher. In fact, they probably reflect the opposite of the views of the author or publisher. The purpose of this content is to entertain and possibly make you question the reality of the world around you. So please, don't take anything too seriously, unless it's the importance of a good laugh.
person wearing red and white coat by Paweł Furman is licensed under Unsplash

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